If you are unhappy and considering divorce, but don’t know how to tell your spouse, read on to learn more.

Don’t Ambush Your Spouse.

Even if your spouse knows how unhappy you are, there is no assurance he/she isn’t in denial about a divorce. Let your spouse know you need to talk about something serious and make an appointment.

Pick a Private Place.

Choose a quiet time when you won’t be distracted, unless you are concerned about safety.  

Be Prepared for Anger.

There is no easy way to tell someone you loved, married, and lived with for years that you want to divorce them.  Be prepared for crying, anger, denial, blame, and arguments.

Plan What to Say.

Think out how you want to share your feelings and be clear about your message.  Begin with a short summary of your unhappiness, make certain he/she understands the seriousness of the situation, and then clearly state that you don’t want to be married to him/her anymore. 

Don’t Blame.

Don’t criticize your spouse or argue about the past, because you won’t be able to agree on what happened.  Use “I” statements, focus on neutral language, report how you feel, and be sympathetic about his/her feelings.

Stay Calm.

Most likely your spouse will become upset when you tell him/her you want a divorce and he/she may become angry, want to argue or may even threaten you. Listen to their arguments and respond in a calm manner that you understand how difficult this is to hear and how hurtful it must be.

Avoid a Trial Separation.

If your spouse tries to negotiate a trial separation rather than a divorce, tell him/her you want a divorce not a separation, and that your mind’s made up. 

Maintain Boundaries.

After delivering the bad news, you may feel guilty and want to comfort your spouse by being affectionate.  That’s a mistake.  Maintain your personal boundaries and keep your distance.

Source: https://collaborativedivorcetexas.com/steps-telling-spouse-want-divorce/

All parents wonder what the impact will be on their child or children when their parents divorce. It may even prevent some couples from taking that final step. However, much understanding has emerged regarding the typical reactions a child or children may have when faced with this life changing event. Read on to learn more.

Why the First Year Is the Toughest

During the first year, kids may experience distress, anger, anxiety, and disbelief. Once their resilience kicks in many kids become accustomed to changes in their daily routines. Nonetheless, there is a small percentage who never find a new “normal” and the emotional impact a divorce has may last a lifetime. 

Emotional Impact of Divorce

The younger child will often struggle to comprehend why they must go between two homes. While a child or children of grade school age may think they were somehow responsible for the breakup. Teenagers have been known to attribute blame to one parent or the other for a divorce. And of course, there are children who feel a great sense of relief if a divorce creates less tension at home. 

Divorce-Related Stress

Divorce can mean a child or children experience less contact with one parent, typically, a Father. The nature of the relationship with the custodial parent also changes as the parent often experiences higher stress levels.

Risks Families Face

Children will have to adapt to ongoing changes to their family dynamics. The addition of a step-parent and possibly several step-siblings can be another big adjustment. The failure rate for second marriages is even higher than first marriages. So many children experience multiple separations and divorces over the years.

Behavior Problems

Children from divorced families may experience more externalizing problems, such as conduct disorders, delinquency, and impulsive behavior than kids from two-parent families. In addition to increased behavior problems, children may also experience more conflict with peers after a divorce. There is also an increased chance of mental health issues developing over time.

Poor Academic Performance

Children from divorced families don’t always perform as well academically. However, a study published in 2019 suggested kids from divorced families tended to have trouble with school if the divorce was unexpected, whereas children from families where divorce was likely didn’t have the same outcome.

Collaborative Divorce 

You may want to consider collaborative divorce to give your family an opportunity to work through your differences and focus on results. 

Source: https://www.verywellfamily.com/psychological-effects-of-divorce-on-kids-4140170

The divorce conversation is very painful for both parties. Hurt feelings are inevitable. Read on to learn some tips on having this life changing discussion.

Have the Conversation

Regardless of the duration of the marriage, the conversation needs to happen, unless there is an element of personal danger to yourself or your child or children. You cannot just leave the house and never return. It is not acceptable to have the local Sheriff serve a summons before divorce is mentioned.

Be Safe

If there may be a rick your spouse may become violent, have the conversation in a public place or have a witness when you have the discussion. Keep a cell phone handy with “911” pre-programmed and if you must be alone, make sure someone else knows where you are and the purpose of the meeting. You can decide for your child or children to reside somewhere else for a few days if there is a rick of violence.

Be Sensitive

Consider where and how you will want to have this discussion. A place for privacy is especially important. You do need to tell your spouse in person. This is not a conversation for an email or a text.

Be Kind

You need to be direct in the conversation. You need to resist the urge to blame the spouse or express your disappointment with them. You also need to resist the urge to flaunt the details of any new relationships on the scene.

Be Honest

You need to state clearly there is no chance of reconciliation. Do not opt for the easier option of a “trial separation” as the easier way out if there is no future for the relationship. If you are having an affair, be honest. It is highly likely the truth will come out, regardless.

Make Time

Picking the right time for the interview is key. Just before your spouse goes to work is not a good idea! Although you may have considered this conversation for a considerable period, if your spouse decides to storm off – you must accept that you prepared for the conversation.

Don’t Fight

By not saying hurtful things to your spouse or avoiding shaming, arguing, or blaming, you can minimize the possibilities of a fight. If your spouse decides they are up for a fight or responds in an aggressive manner – you can choose to halt the conversation and return to it at a time when both parties are calmer.

Don’t Involve The Kids

Never have your kids present when discussing divorce. Even if a child or children understand the reasons for a divorce, do not involve them in the discussion. Similarly, if your kids are already grown-up, they need to be kept away from the divorce process.

Be Prepared For A Bad Reaction

You can never tell for sure how your spouse will react when you have the conversation. They may become very unsettled and start to argue, or they may withdraw and say nothing. You can only control your own reaction if you are prepared for the conversation.

Practice Your Conversation In Advance

There is no perfect break up regardless of how it may look in the media. So, rehearsing how you will deliver the conversation to your spouse will help you say what you want to say and keep the conversation on track.

Don’t Dive Into Unnecessary Details

You may have considered divorce for many years and worked out your future life in minute detail. However, the divorce discussion does not have to include a moving-out contingency. Nor do you need to mention who will have the kids or property division. If the spouse wants to have that chat, that is fine. But most people are going to need to accept the idea a divorce is wanted before moving forward.

Consider Including Your Spouse In Your Decision

Springing the divorce conversation on your spouse is never a great idea – but you need to understand your spouse may not see the same problems that are glaringly obvious to you. Dropping hints does not usually work. It may also be your spouse does not believe you when you tell them. Regardless of their reaction, this is an exceedingly difficult conversation to have. Yet the way you kick off the divorce proceedings can have a big impact on the outcome.

Source: https://karencovy.com/how-to-tell-your-spouse-that-you-want-a-divorce/

Once you make the decision to divorce in AZ, you have several options. In this article we will look at some of the most popular options. Read on to learn more.

Contested Divorce in Arizona

With a contested divorce, you may try to negotiate a settlement, but if you are not successful, you may be leaving the decisions in the hands of a judge. These issues may include:

1. Child-related matters such as legal decision-making
2. Parenting time and child support
3. Financial issues such as distribution of property and assets
4. Allocation of debts
5. Determination of spousal maintenance

Uncontested Divorce in Arizona

If terms have been agreed for your divorce from the outset, your divorce might be considered “uncontested.” The paperwork can be filed setting forth your agreements and the case can be completed without the involvement of a judge.

Collaborative Divorce And Divorce Mediation in Arizona

Collaborative divorce in Arizona is a private process that can provide a path to a peaceful divorce even if you and your spouse are not necessarily in agreement on financial and child-related issues coming into the process. Each spouse has a lawyer to advocate for their interests. Divorce Mediation in Arizona is when a neutral third party, works with both parties to facilitate agreements regarding divorce issues without the involvement of a judge.

Default Divorce in Arizona

If you file a Petition for Dissolution of Marriage in Arizona and your spouse doesn’t file a Response within 20 days (30 days if he or she lives out of state), you may be able to ask the court to allow you to proceed by “default.”

Legal Separation in Arizona

The process of legal separation in Arizona is a similar to divorce in that the court enters orders regarding legal decision making, parenting time and child support, as well as division of assets/debts and spousal maintenance; however, the parties are still legally married at the end of a legal separation, whereas the marriage is terminated at the end of a divorce.

Do I Need a Divorce Lawyer in Arizona?

You may not need a divorce lawyer to end your marriage in Arizona. But there are some situations where hiring a divorce lawyer would be a good idea. For example:

• Your spouse made more income and you want to request spousal support
• You are concerned about how to divide assets and property acquired during the marriage
• You or your spouse has debt that you aren’t sure how to divide
• You have children and want information about how child support payments will be determined

Divorce and separation are two different things. In a separation, you live apart from your spouse but reman married until you get a divorce granted by a court. Usually, your financial obligations do not change during a separation. Read on to learn more about the three types of separation.

Trial Separation

You and your spouse may make the decision to live apart on a trial basis. The same legal rules apply as when you were married regarding  finances and property in nearly all cases. If a reconciliation is likely, an informal written agreement regarding certain issues, for example, will you continue a shared bank account, credit cards and household budget needs can be stated as well as how expenses will be met and time spent with kids.

Permanent Separation

This is when you are separated but have no intention of a reconcile. In some states property, as well as assets and debts acquired during the separation belong to the party who obtained them. Once permanently separated, you are no longer responsible for debts incurred by your spouse and likewise you are no longer entitled to assets or property they earn, either. These issues can become contentious in court as it is not always clear what date the separation occurred as monies and property obtained during this time can be negotiable. Should you briefly reconcile, it may change the date of a separation from a legal standpoint. Once the separation and basic agreements have bene formed, there is no rush to divorce.

Legal Separation

In some  states, you may obtain a legal separation by filing a request in family court. Being legally separated is a different legal status from being divorced or married—you’re no longer married, but you’re not divorced either, and remarriage in those circumstances is not allowed. But the court’s order granting the legal separation includes orders about property division, alimony, and child custody and support.

In Arizona, legal separation is the process that allows a couple to live separately while still being married, whereas divorce is the legal process of marriage termination. Read on to learn more.

Reasons To Get A Legal Separation

• Remain married for moral or religious reasons not to divorce
• The continuation of benefits such as social security or health insurance
• Serving as a trial period to determine if the marriage can be saved
• Useful when you are not 100% sure you want to get divorced
• To keep finances, separate, divide debts and assets and protect yourself from the other spouse’s future debt
• Avoiding the stress of negotiating a divorce agreement

According to AuritMediation, “In Arizona, Legal Separation is a viable alternative to divorce for some married couples. For financial reasons, religious reasons, reasons that include possible reconciliation, or even reasons involving health insurance coverage, spouses sometimes decide to move forward with legal separation, rather than divorce.”

Reasons To Get A Divorce

• To end permanently end the marriage
• To marry someone else
• To avoid the financial commitment of a legal separation and then a divorce

According to DivorceNet, “Legal separations are, for the most part, temporary and intended to be a placeholder for reconciliation or divorce. Life moves quickly, and it’s common for separated couples to request a divorce when one spouse plans on remarrying, which a party can do by filing a request with the local court.”

The agreement terminates automatically when one of the spouses passes away or when either spouse files for divorce and obtains a divorce decree.

According to MyModernLaw, “If a spouse has significant health issues and the cost of health insurance would be prohibitive, the parties may choose to pursue a legal separation in order that the spouse needing the medical insurance may remain on the other spouse’s coverage.”

What Is A Legal Separation Agreement?

According to OgborneLaw, “a legal separation agreement is: “a legally binding agreement between you and your husband to resolve issues such as the division of assets and debt, alimony/spousal support, child support, and visitation.”’

How Long?

It takes from 90 to 120 days in the state of Arizona as an average. First you must file a petition for legal separation. The wait is then 30 days for the other party to respond. It then takes roughly another 60 days to obtain the divorce decree.

Source:  https://family.findlaw.com/divorce/uncontested-divorce.html

Firstly, visit at least three attorneys before you decide to hire one. Remember if you can settle without litigation it will be less expensive and stressful. When that is not possible, the value of an attorney becomes increasingly important. Two things to remember:

• Your attorney understands the need for a quick settlement
• Your attorney will fight for you should that become necessary

Read on to learn more.

Determine Your Assets

While some assets are marital property are plain, others need to be split in an equitable manner such as financial accounts and vehicles. This may also include pensions, inheritances, artwork or other belongings obtained during the course of the marriage. List al lthe assets you can think of and obtain their current value and where the asset was obtained and whether it was an individual purchase or with joint funds. Also keep a copy of any recent real estate appraisals. Let you attorney have all of this information and maintain a copy for yourself.

Determine Your Liabilities

Marital debt will be split according to who has the greatest ability to pay. Obtain a copy of your credit report that will include listed dent. You then need to gather outstanding statements from people you owe money too and again keep a copy for yourself and hand a copy to your attorney.

Determine Your Income

You will need income details for both parties, including tax returns and pay stubs. When one party is self employed, bank account statements and business statements can be utilized. Pass all of this info to your attorney (again keeping a copy) so they can work on the true income amount.

Post Divorce Budget

You then need to establish your living costs once the divorce has been finalized. Some expenses will need to be estimated but you need to know the totals it will take so you can make it in your new life. This will also give you an idea of what you need to ask for should you have to go to court.

Establishing Your Credit

If there is no credit in your name only, you can apply for a credit card. any find when they are post-marriage, obtaining credit to be tough because they shared credit with their ex for so long. Once you have obtained the card make sure it is fully paid every single month to help you obtain an advantageous credit score.

Financial Accounts Protection And Evaluation

Sometimes, the raiding of financial accounts can occur during the divorce process. Therefore, it is vital you are protected that joint accounts are not cleaned out. You can open accounts in your name and remove fifty percent of the funds from the joint account. Do not conceal this and do not spend any money in an unwise manner. Consider freezing any investment accounts or saving accounts you may have. These are all things to speak with your attorney about.

Closing Joint Credit Accounts

Ideally, close all joint credit accounts before commencing divorce proceedings. You can offer to close accounts at a lesser rate but be sure to obtain a letter from the creditor saying the account has been paid in full and nothing negative will be filed to the credit report agencies. If a balance cannot be met, the account should be frozen. Once the divorce has been finalized, the debt can be transferred to whoever the court decides has the responsibility for payment. Let creditors know you are going through a divorce process as well as updating them on any address changes. Ensure all credit card bills are paid, even if it means posting minimum payments on accounts you think your spouse will ultimately have to take responsibility for.

Don’t Move!

You do not have to move out unless you are facing abuse. Remember, if you move out and your partner is paying the mortgage, it may impact the decision made regarding the division of property. Be sure to document any contributions you make to the mortgage payment, should you decide it is in your best interests to move out.

Impacting Your Kids Education

It may help your kids education if they remain in the marital home and can attend the same school as they did prior to the divorce process. These are things that can be negotiated with your spouse through your attorney to obtain the ideal outcome for your kids, your security and your finances. Moving out can impact your case – only do so once you have spoken with your attorney. Some states say a judge will consider a motion from your attorney for a temporary possession of the home order before the divorce court that is pending. This may be worth investigating. In an abusive scenario, you need to take whatever steps are needed for protection. leave if you are in danger – and discuss the issue with your attorney. You may be in a position where your spouse can be legally removed from the home.

Good Behavior

Understand the divorce process means you cannot commence a hedonistic lifestyle. On the contrary, your life and current behavior will be under a harsh spotlight through the divorce process. So, it is best not to date, party, indulge in drunken behavior, etc. When custody is going to be an issue ,your child, or children, have to be top priority, no exceptions! Sexual frustration can become part of the equation and is something you would be very wise to consider with the thou thought that once you are divorced, you are free to fully discover that aspect of your being once again. Use this as a time to draw closer to friends and family, heal emotionally and physically, embrace your spiritual realm, but above all, be a good person with a level head, and their priorities firmly grounded.

Source: https://www.mydomaine.com/steps-to-take-when-preparing-for-divorce-1103276

A divorce decree where neither party fights is called an uncontested divorce. It can save everyone a lot of heartache and help to simplify the court procedures but the couple must not have any outstanding financial disputes and both agree to the divorce. Read on to learn more.

Eligibility

So if there are no outstanding issues regarding child support, child custody, spousal support and property division – the process kicks off with one party filing for divorce. The paperwork for uncontested divorces is not complicated and includes the agreements made and a statement for the grounds of divorce. As long as it remains uncontested, or if the other party fails to show, the court can grant the uncontested divorce.

Benefits

Obviously, a non contested divorce is cheaper than a contested divorce as there are lower legal costs and attorney fees and it also permits both parties to go forward with their lives. Couples with very little conflict clearly have a better chance of working out an uncontested divorce. Remember, information disclosed in a divorce process is made public and that includes personal information and financial records. Luckily, in an uncontested divorce, there is not so much need for information, protecting the privacy of both parties.

Disadvantages

When a couple has a child or children as well as complex financial and real estate investments, there is far more likely to be disagreement and an uncontested divorce is less likely to be a satisfactory solution for the situation. When children are involved, there must be additional filings regarding child support and child custody, as well as the division of finances and property. An experienced attorney will be able to advise on the bets possible course of action that is also the most cost effective.

Source:  https://family.findlaw.com/divorce/uncontested-divorce.html

Stress and tension are often parts of the divorce process people cope with. But however fraught the process may be, it is essential to avoid making mistakes as the process takes place. Here are some things you must avoid when navigating the divorce process.

Avoid Pregnancy!

Pregnancy adds layers of complications to the divorce process and may even impact your right to a divorce. In some states, there may be laws regarding the timeline a divorce can take place as the paternity of the child may be in dispute and until it can be established there may be no one to assign financial responsibility for the child’s support. It is true several states treat single parents identically as married ones. However, it is definitely a complication that requires careful consideration.

Changing Your Will

Just because you are granted a divorce it does not mean a will is revoked. An update to your will may be required to reflect your new circumstances. Should you become deceased before a divorce is granted and your spouse has been left zero, they may sue in probate to obtain 50% community property portion of your estate.

Collaborative Divorce And Mediation

In areas where collaborative divorce is common, it is generally regarded to be beneficial in the breakup process as issues can be addressed in a team meeting and productive manner.  In contrast to group collaboration, mediation is where a third party assists in bringing an agreement between the two parties going separate ways. Lawyers are not always required in these sessions, though their counsel can be consulted at any time as the process unfolds to ensure you are getting the optimal outcome for your situation.

Relationships With Lawyers

Do not get romantically or sexually involved with your lawyer! In some states, it is prohibited but even in states where it is permissible, you may face a charge of adultery as a consequence.  Do not mix business with pleasure, there are plenty of other viable romantic options out there.

Do Not Blame or Involve The Children!

It is essential a child or children have support through the divorce process. Give them the time and attention they require and help them focus or educational and extra-curricular activities. Over time, they will become more at ease with the new two household circumstance. Ultimately the purpose of a divorce is to relieve stress and move forward and if a child or children can see that over time, they will be able to better cope with the new situation.

Be Open To The Idea Of Therapists

A therapist can help you cope with the whole gamut of emotions associated with divorce. And it is a worthwhile idea to seek out a therapist before you start to feel emotional extremes. A therapist can offer professional help as well coping mechanisms for life as well as the divorce court. They can also help you to work out ways of becoming more independent post-Decree.

Is Waiting Until After The Holidays A Good Idea?

Holidays can be tough times and pre and post-Christmas are often the busiest time of year for divorce lawyers! Fighting a divorce case during the holiday period will only cause more stress and may damage the opportunity you have to achieve a separation that is amicable.  In an ideal world, do not commence your divorce until January.

Taxes

The house often goes to the person who is awarded primary custody of a child or children. But if you cannot afford to pay the maintenance, mortgage, taxes, and other associated costs, it may not be the ideal option.  Sometimes selling the house just makes more sense.  An alternative is to request the equal value in an investment portfolio of the community. Capital gains for single people are not protected from taxes to the same extent as they are for married people. There may also be issues with existing stock positions and it many be a better strategy to opt for freshly purchased stocks as the capital gains taxes will be less of an outgoing expense.

You Don’t Have To Settle Early

Financial security does not have to be sacrificed because you want a quick divorce process. Maintain many copies of your various financial statements so you can be on top of what assets and liabilities you have. You will need to make sure the minor children still have coverage for health insurance on an ongoing basis post-Decree. If this can be worked out between the two parties in an amicable manner, you may be able to move forward with what is known as an uncontested divorce. If this is not feasible, remember to bring all relevant financial documentation so a lawyer can make a correct assessment of your financial situation in advancing your case.

Avoid Debt Accumulation

Divorce is seldom cheap. Once you have dealt with fees from lawyers you will also have the expense of setting up a new household. Economizing and making do for now is the order of the day. Hopefully if you make wise choices now, you will emerge on the other side of the divorce with far less financial damage. Once everything is concluded, you should feel a great deal better about the situation by planning to live within your means.

Source: Zimmer, Jessica. “Top 10 Things NOT to Do When You Divorce.” Legalzoom.com, 25 Apr. 2019, www.legalzoom.com/articles/top-10-things-not-to-do-when-you-divorce.