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8 Reasons Men Leave Women They Love

8 Reasons Men Leave Women They Love

We all sometimes think why men decide to leave the woman they once were totally in love with. Truthfully, there can be a multitude of reasons and often there are many reasons. That said, here are some of the most popular reasons and perhaps will give one food for thought on the way to mending a relationship.

Infidelity

Somewhere between a fifth and nearly half of all marriages end in divorce because of infidelity. When a man’s spouse has been having other partners within the bond of marriage, the commitment and trust a man has left to offer can be strenuously pressured. The internet has brought people who are not married to each other emotionally closer and many consider this a form of infidelity and may be the other cause of a man to leave their spouse.

Respect

Men place a high value on feeling respected and loved and are far more likely to be committed to a relationship when they feel those qualities.  Wives frequently provide respect to virtually all of the people in their inner circles, except their husbands.  Husbands notice this.  Husbands crave daily acknowledgment and respect, wives who don’t give it, may find themselves single again.

Intimacy

When the intimacy one partner in a relationship is something they crave for and the other partner is not willing or unable to provide that emotional closeness and romantic contact, the relationship may struggle to survive.  This often drives the spouse yearning for physical intimacy into the arms of another woman.

Appreciation

A man will often go to great lengths for a woman he really loves if he feels he is being appreciated. Letting him know you realize that is a good thing! So many spouses take the other for granted, everyone eventually has their ‘limit’ on being ignored.

Mom, Not Lover

If you are always reminding him of things he needs to do, clean up the mess he leaves, question about where he is going, where he is and where has he been, he can start to see you adopting the role of a Mother towards him.  This kills romance and passion in the bedroom, and launches you onto a one way trip to dissolution.

Success

If your womanly success highlights his sense of inadequacy it may be more likely he will leave. It is a fact many men have issues with dating a woman of high achievement who may have obtained greater success than themselves.

Satisfaction

When one has an attitude of desiring financial things that are out of reach as opposed to displaying an appreciation of what is already there, it may well be that a man takes that personally. It is important to talk about the things you both appreciate from your relationship and to seek out to achieve mutual financial goals and achievements.

Source: ReichSpecializing, Kristine. “8 Reasons Men Leave Women.” Best Legal Choices, 7 Nov. 2019, bestlegalchoices.com/why-men-leave-good-women/.

Need a Divorce Lawyer in Scottsdale or Phoenix?

As proven legal counsel in family court, we have a network of Arizona mediators, attorneys, tax specialists, estate planners, financial planners, child specialists, real property appraisers, adult and child therapists and parenting coordinators who are here for you if you ever need them. Our lawyersdivorce mediators and collaborative divorce attorneys in Scottsdale are here to make your divorce less stressful and keep you in control and the costs contained. Call today for an initial consultation at 480-240-0040 or [email protected]. Our family lawyers can also help with divorce litigation, child custodylegal guardianshippaternityprenuptial agreements, and more.

*This information is not intended to be legal advice. Please contact Canterbury Law Group today to learn more about your personal legal needs.

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Should I Leave My Husband for Cheating?

Should I Leave My Husband for Cheating

Once you found some dubious texts from another female on their phone – they came clean about what happened when they were away for a few days. Perhaps, a friend has dropped some hints. There is no question infidelity is a very traumatic and emotional experience. Some couples rebuild trust and move forward in their relationship but that requires a very thorough examination of what happened and why. Sometimes, it is best to bring the relationship to a close.

Following infidelity, many people both find themselves feeling love for each other and they realize the value of such lobe. Afterall, we all make mistakes, correct? Statistics suggest over twenty percent of men cheat and nearly fifteen percent of women cheat as well. However, these numbers do not lessen the emotional impact of being betrayed. This damage may be a good enough reason to end the relationship.

Reason 1. Dragging it Out Of Them

If you suspected they were cheating, rebuilding trust may be a very difficult thing to do – especially if your partner has previously denied they were having a relationship with someone else. Their lies to cover up their footprints often add other problems to the emotional state of the partner who did not cheat.

Reason 2. Old Habits

A study from 2017 drew the conclusion people are three times more likely to cheat in the future if they cheated in their first relationship. Does this mean it is a habit? Certainly, if they cheated in a previous relationship and are now cheating in their current relationship – it is obviously not a good sign. If they have cheated before in their current relationship with you, it may mean the relationship has no future. It is reasonable to ask if your partner will make the same mistake again. You may want to ask them in a straight-forward manner regarding their infidelity – this gives them the opportunity to spill the beans and you can plan your future. Trust can be rebuilt over time – if both parties are committed to doing so and that is something that needs to be considered. Cheating does not need a justification, but there may be factors that influenced the decision to cheat and they need examining.

Reason 3. Shattered Trust

Is it better when the partner who has committed the infidelity comes clean and confesses what they have done or finding out by catching them in the act? Often the lying is more important then the cheating. If you had to find out through messages, emails or texts, even from face to face conversation with other people, the blow may be very hard to take indeed. Would you have not discovered had you not looked or been told? IS there something else you have not been told?

Reason 4. Not Feeling Happy With Yourself

Insecurities can suddenly rise to the surface when you discover your significant other has cheated. Questioning yourself and your virtues and behavior is not helpful. There are many reasons why the person who cheated made that decision. The truth is it has zero to do with you. They made the decision. It is possible the insecurity of your partner led them to cheat because they need to see themselves as desirable. When you are at the stage that your own view of yourself has been badly damaged – it may be for the best to move on without this relationship in your life. You may discover some qualities have come to the surface that are not the best aspects of your personality such as jealousy. In these cases, you need to take care of yourself primarily so you can heal. Explaining this to your partner may assist in lessening the impact of the insecurities you feel.

Not all relationships need to end when infidelity appears. Cheating is often a sign that something else may be not right in the relationship and you have to decide whether it is worth persevering with the relationship.

Of course, it is understandable if the relationship and the hurt you feel cannot be repaired. Without a doubt you deserve someone in your life who you can trust Communication is key and may lead to the rebuilding of trust. Sometimes professional help like a therapist who specializes in working with couples may be helpful.

Source: Strong, Rebecca. “Why You Should Consider Leaving A Partner Who Cheated – Even If You’re In Love.” Elite Daily, Elite Daily, 25 Sept. 2018, www.elitedaily.com/p/should-you-leave-a-partner-who-cheated-4-reasons-to-consider-calling-it-quits-11988151.

Need a Divorce Lawyer in Scottsdale or Phoenix?

We have a network of Arizona mediators, attorneys, tax specialists, estate planners, financial planners, child specialists, real property appraisers, adult and child therapists and parenting coordinators who are here for you if you ever need them. Our lawyersdivorce mediators and collaborative divorce attorneys in Scottsdale are here to make your divorce less stressful and keep you in control and the costs contained. Call today for an initial consultation at 480-240-0040 or [email protected]. Our family lawyers can also help with divorce litigation, child custodylegal guardianshippaternityprenuptial agreements, and more.

*This information is not intended to be legal advice. Please contact Canterbury Law Group today to learn more about your personal legal needs.

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My Husband Cheated Twice Should I Stay?

My Husband Cheated Twice Should I Stay

When your spouse has had more than a single affair, what is the best course of action to take. Do you keep forgiving them – especially when you want to remain married to them? Read on to learn more.

Once A Cheater, Always A Cheater?

This is not an entirely true statement. That said, when an affair is discovered, statistically speaking, there will be more than one affair. Yet there is little in the way of quality assistance for couples who want their marriages to heal and maintain their truth to their wedding vows. This is especially the case when a partner in marriage has an affair that they know goes against everything else they morally stand for – especially so when their faith teaches marital fidelity.

Yet there is a rising culture in today’s society who think monogamy is not a realistic population. If you think that, it is very likely you will cheat. But many people who do have an affair want to address what they have done wrong and do their utmost to ensure they never once stray and have an affair. When you are married to someone who claims they appreciate the virtues of monogamy but on the inside thinks otherwise or they have the concept that they have an entitlement to affairs, cheating is almost inevitable. Simply put, monogamy has to be something both sides believe in.

Behaviors, Not Words Are The Key

Promises obviously do not work so behaviors need to change hen a couple are determined to stay monogamous relationship following an affair. Above all, the party who had the affair is the one who needs to change their behavior. Let’s look at what works well and does not work well in achieving this goal.

Ideas That Do Not Work

  • There is no guarantee from renewing your wedding vows
  • No guarantee comes with them saying “I will never do that again”
  • Promises are not a guarantee of monogamy in the future
  • While meeting the needs of your spouse is important, it is wrong to think the hey to the previous affair is the spouse who was faithful not being a good enough partner.

The last point is of vital importance because it is easy for one party to blame the faithful party and for the faithful party to accept they were not good enough – bluntly speaking, you can be a perfect partner and still have no guarantee of monogamy.

Ideas That Work

  • The spouse who cheated must take responsibility for their actions – understand what went wrong and fully comprehend their behaviors and change to make sure they never go down this path again
  • The couple must face the reality of the affair and deal with its ramifications. This means the party who had an affair needs to be responsible for what they have done as well as handling the consequences without making excuses. They also need to exercise a degree of patience with the spouse who has been betrayed and assist in their healing process
  • Whatever demons the person who had the affair has need to be “exorcised.” They need to take a frank and honest look at themselves and question their own morality, as opposed to assigning the responsibility for the affair on their partner
  • The spouse who was faithful need to have their questions answered honestly regarding the affair
  • The couple must work to find out the issues at the core of the causes of the affair and have a clear vision for the future to ensure success
  • The party who took part in the affair needs to fully disclose what happened and both parties need to understand the actions that impact marriages. It is never too late to change behaviors

Keep Forgiving?

This is a personal question and there is no correct answer. Possibly, you may be aware your spouse continues to be unfaithful, but you decide to stay and maintain the marriage. Only you can decide if that is right or wrong for you. But if that is not acceptable, you are setting yourself up for more emotional upheaval. Often it is not until you take a stance where you give up your marriage that you obtain it as the person having the affair does not realize they have lost you until you take that stance. Threatening does not work. You have to decide for there to be an impact.

Source: Bercht, Anne. “Multiple Affairs – When Your Spouse Has Had Multiple Affairs.” Brian and Anne Bercht, 6 Feb. 2015, beyondaffairs.com/special-circumstances/multiple-affairs/.

Need a Divorce Lawyer in Scottsdale or Phoenix?

As proven legal counsel in family court, we have a network of Arizona mediators, attorneys, tax specialists, estate planners, financial planners, child specialists, real property appraisers, adult and child therapists and parenting coordinators who are here for you if you ever need them. Our lawyersdivorce mediators and collaborative divorce attorneys in Scottsdale are here to make your divorce less stressful and keep you in control and the costs contained. Call today for an initial consultation at 480-240-0040 or [email protected]. Our family lawyers can also help with divorce litigation, child custodylegal guardianshippaternityprenuptial agreements, and more.

*This information is not intended to be legal advice. Please contact Canterbury Law Group today to learn more about your personal legal needs.

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Legal Separation Advantages And Disadvantages

Legal Separation Advantages And Disadvantages

When your marriage ends it is a highly personal experience. Many of your friends may offer advice on how they did it, but it may not be the ideal way for those involved in your decision. This is something the majority of states understand – therefore there are many methods from an annulment to total divorce with legal separation as an option as well. When you opt for legal separation, there both upsides and downsides. Read on to learn more.

Legal Separation Advantages

While there are similarities between a legal separation and a divorce, here are some of the advantages to legal separation.

  • When a couple decide to opt for a divorce, the agreement for separation can be the basis of the divorce separation.
  • There may be some tax benefits to filing taxes jointly.
  • Assets and debts can be considered as separate entities and property when there is a legal separation.
  • You may still be eligible for social security benefits if you remain married and meet the ten-year requirement for such.
  • Certain benefits from the military may be retained.
  • Health insurance can continue using the benefits of the other spouse. However, you will need to check the conditions of the policy to ascertain what will happen when a couple separates legally.
  • Religious reasons may dictate it is best for you both to remain married.
  • It allows a couple some time and space to live apart and see if it benefits their relationship or leads down the road to divorce. In addition, an agreement of separation addresses how various matters will be dealt with when the couple are not together.

A legal separation can also provide the groundwork for an actual divorce when the judge comes to decide on the divorce agreement.  Either party, at any time, can “convert” the legal separation case into a case seeking marital dissolution.

Legal Separation Disadvantages

The disadvantages of legal separation can be a little more complicated to explain as one piece of the puzzle may have an impact on another.

Legal Separations And Divorce Complexity

Ironically, a legal separation can take as much time and be as intense as a divorce process as they involve things like allocating assets and debts, and property division. Those who divorce following a separation will then have to do the whole process over again and those who decide to continue their full married relationship often feel as if they have gone through a divorce process to get their relationship back! Furthermore, if certain aspects of the separation cannot be agreed, the only option is to go through the courts, causing greater stress and expense. However, you can choose to do an informal separation, or if it is felt there is very little to no chance of the couple reuniting, proceeding with the divorce process.

The Stresses Of Legal Separations And Divorce

Many couples end up failing in their efforts when they think a legal separation may be a good method to ascertain whether they should remain married. However, the stress it causes often leads to the ruination of the relationship. As we said above, a legal separation is often as traumatic an experience as going through a divorce and the problems it causes can terminate what was already a precarious relationship. It is best to use an informal separation if you want to these those waters. You will have the equal space without the additional stress and problems arising from a legal separation.

Legal Separation May Not Be Needed

Couples often think a legal separation is an essential step in working out where their marriage is going. But more often than not, it is simply not the case. Couples achieve almost all of the same goals by utilizing an informal separation without the additional stresses as well as the commitment and expense of a legal separation. At first glance it may seem as if a legal separation is the only way your marriage may survive but a better barometer of how salvageable your marriage is, is often better judged when an informal separation is in place.

State by State

Legal separation is not something every state recognizes and may go by a different name. For example, in Maryland it is known as “Limited Divorce” while in New Jersey it known somewhat quaintly as “Divorce without bed and board.” However, the legal separation rules are virtually the dame no matter what state you reside in.

Still Married?

In states where adultery is still on the books, for example, in Tennessee and Maryland having a sexual relationship with a new partner falls under their adultery laws. This gives your spouse the chance to file divorce on grounds of adultery and may impact alimony or the division of property. This may even have an impact on your ability to date once again or set up house with someone else. Decrees of Legal Separation means you are still married, and, in those states, they may see a sexual relationship with anyone else as adultery, regardless of the status of your relationship between your spouse and yourself.

Lawsuits

A legal separation may be the way to go if you want to remain married but live separate lives. But some states do not permit your separation decree to become your divorce decree, meaning you will have to go through the entire process once more and of course the expense is at the very least doubled!

Another Option

If you live in a state where judicial separation is not recognized, there are still ways to avoid typical problems if you want to separate legally. Florida is an example; you can obtain a separation agreement and it becomes a contract that is binding once you both sign it. It usually cannot be enforced in a family court but if the terms of the contract are broken, you can go to civil court. Inheritance rights are waived in an agreement like this and later you may be able to include this document into a final decree in your divorce case. This however depends on the state you live in.

Sources

“Legal Separation – What Are the Benefits?” WomansDivorce.com, www.womansdivorce.com/legal-separation.html.

“Advantages and Disadvantages of Legal Separation – Albuquerque Divorce Attorney.” Albuquerque Personal Injury Attorneys, www.collinsattorneys.com/advantages-and-disadvantages-of-legal-separation.html.

Bird, Beverly. “The Disadvantages of a Legal Separation.” LegalZoom Legal Info, 21 Nov. 2017, info.legalzoom.com/disadvantages-legal-separation-27323.html.

DavisMr, Greg. “Legal Separation vs Divorce in Arizona: Which Is Better?” Best Legal Choices, 7 Nov. 2019, bestlegalchoices.com/legal-separation-vs-divorce-arizona/.

Need a Legal Separation Lawyer in Scottsdale or Phoenix?

As family court lawyers, we have built a network of Arizona mediators, attorneys, tax specialists, estate planners, financial planners, child specialists, real property appraisers, adult and child therapists and parenting coordinators who are here for you if you ever need them. Our lawyersdivorce mediators and collaborative divorce attorneys in Scottsdale are here to make your divorce less stressful and keep you in control and the costs contained. Call today for an initial consultation at 480-240-0040 or [email protected]. Our family lawyers can also help with divorce litigation, child custodylegal guardianshippaternityprenuptial agreements, and more.

*This information is not intended to be legal advice. Please contact Canterbury Law Group today to learn more about your personal legal needs.

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Reasons For Legal Separation

Reasons For Legal Separation

Deciding on a legal separation or a divorce is often a tough and emotional choice to make. There are many things to consider and in this post is a list of reasons couples often experience leading to legal separation or divorce. Every relationship is different and there are often difficult legal issues to handle. A divorce attorney is the person who can best educate you with any outstanding legal issues dealing with divorce and legal separation.

Legal Separation Reasons

  • When a couple are not sure if they want to go forward with a divorce, a legal separation can be the way to go as the couple may reconcile, this procedure can be taken-back, which is not the case with a divorce and with the advantage of having no reason to get remarried if you just separate, as the marriage has not gone through a dissolution.
  • Often couples choose not to divorce to uphold the vows they made on their wedding day, but legal separation can work if they want to live apart from each other.
  • If children are involved, there may be a greater emotional impact on them if a divorce goes through so some couples decide to wait until the children are fully grown before proceeding with a divorce.
  • When couples have lengthy separations, it allows enough time for the couples to address matters that will be dealt with in the divorce process such as financial issues and property division. The separation often becomes a time where debts and assets can be untangled as the passage of time goes by.

Divorce Reasons

  • When a couple have no plans to ever reconcile, a divorce may be the best way to go.
  • A divorce may be for the best if one or both partners are heading into different relationships. Especially as some states say that having sexual relations or dating someone who is not your spouse is adultery. State laws vary greatly on this as do the consequences and how they are applied. For these reasons, if one of the partners intends to date, a divorce may be the best option.

State Laws

There are states who have chosen not to recognize legal separation:

  • West Virginia and Maryland use the term “limited divorce” for a legal separation.
  • Virginia, New Jersey and Rhode Island call it: “Divorce From Bed And Board.”
  • Oklahoma, Michigan, Massachusetts, Georgia and Mississippi do not recognize legal separation but have their own procedures to separate assets while maintaining the marriage.
  • North Carolina and South Dakota do not have legal separation options. if you live in those states, you have to follow divorce proceedings.

Source: “Choosing Legal Separation or Divorce – Common Situations.” Rocket Lawyer, https://www.rocketlawyer.com/article/choosing-legal-separation-or-divorce—common-situations.rl.

Need a Legal Separation Lawyer in Scottsdale or Phoenix?

As family court lawyers, we have built a network of Arizona mediators, attorneys, tax specialists, estate planners, financial planners, child specialists, real property appraisers, adult and child therapists and parenting coordinators who are here for you if you ever need them. Our lawyersdivorce mediators and collaborative divorce attorneys in Scottsdale are here to make your divorce less stressful and keep you in control and the costs contained. Call today for an initial consultation at 480-240-0040 or [email protected]. Our family lawyers can also help with divorce litigation, child custodylegal guardianshippaternityprenuptial agreements, and more.

*This information is not intended to be legal advice. Please contact Canterbury Law Group today to learn more about your personal legal needs.

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10 Reasons For Divorce

10 Reasons For Divorce

When the relationship between your spouse and you have broken down, there may be a day when you find they have left home and a divorce notice awaits you as you walk through the door. Read on to learn more about the top ten leading reasons for a divorce.

1. Lack Of Fidelity

Lack of fidelity is the leading cause of most marriage breakdowns ending in divorce. There are many reasons why people may cheat on a spouse such as:

  • Differences in sexual appetites
  • Missing or lacking emotional intimacy
  • Resentment
  • Anger

Often a simple friendship is the grass root of infidelity. In some circumstances an emotional affair can lead to the affair becoming physical.  Once things get physical, it’s usually game over by then.  It’s not if you’ll be caught, it’s when.

2. Finances

When a couple have different attitudes to money as well as differing financial goals, spending habits and when one spouse makes inordinately more income than the other – the strain of a marriage can be immense and is recognized as the leading reason for divorce after infidelity

3. Communication Skills

If two partners cannot talk in an effective manner, it is a sure recipe for problems. Lack of communication, shouting and vindictive responses and comments all make an impact on a relationship and need to be abandoned if a marriage is to be saved. When it cannot be saved, it becomes a leading cause for divorce. Constructive communication is difficult to commit to, but in some instances, it can saved and change a marriage for the better.

4. Ongoing Arguments

Couples who go over the same ground in arguments over and over often do so because they feel they are not being listened too. The perception that the other person refuses to see the other persons viewpoint can lead to further arguments – and this again leads to divorce.

5. Gains In Weight

If a spouse has gained a great deal of weight, they may become less physically attractive to their spouse. Although it sounds shallow, the gain of weight also impacts self-image and this may lead into less intimacy than before, causing further problems leading to divorce.

6. Expectations

Often people have very high expectations when they marry – often trying to live up to unrealistic dreams. This can cause a large amount of strain to the other partner in the relationship. It is a recipe for failure. And this inability to match expectations with reality is also a cause for the divorce.

7. Intimacy Issues

When emotional or physical intimacy is lacking, it doesn’t always equal a lack of sex but if there is a feeling of one spouse freezing out the other from aspects of their personal life, it can be very difficult to prolong a marriage. That said, sexual relationships are important and not recognizing the sexual desires of your partner often causes great stress in a marriage, ultimately leading to divorce. Intimacy is the responsibility of both parties in a relationship and when worked on can become a great way for a relationship to grow closer.

8. Equality Issues

When one partner feels a lack of equality in a relationship it becomes one of the most popular reasons for divorce, almost alongside a lack of a physical or emotional intimacy. Resentment can build when there is a feeling that one partner in the relationship is contributing more to the marriage relationship than the other. Nearly fifty percent of divorces happen in the opening ten years from their marriage date, but even more so before the fourth and eighth year of marriages, perhaps a manifestation of the stereotyped “seven-year itch.”

9. Not Ready To be Married

When couples look back following the end of their marriage it is quite common to find out both couples (regardless of age) were not ready to undertake marriage, especially with couples in their twenties.

10. Abusive Situations

Regrettably, abuse be it of an emotional or physical nature is part of life. The abuser may or may not always be bad and there are often issues to blame such as emotional issues that can run very deeply. But no-one should have to put up with any form of abuse and removing yourself, if you have been abused should be paramount.

Source: Warren, Shellie, et al. “10 Most Common Reasons for Divorce.” Best Marriage Advice – Get Marriage Tips from Experts, 13 Dec. 2019, https://www.marriage.com/advice/divorce/10-most-common-reasons-for-divorce/

Need a Divorce Lawyer in Scottsdale or Phoenix?

As proven legal counsel in family court, we have a network of Arizona mediators, attorneys, tax specialists, estate planners, financial planners, child specialists, real property appraisers, adult and child therapists and parenting coordinators who are here for you if you ever need them. Our lawyersdivorce mediators and collaborative divorce attorneys in Scottsdale are here to make your divorce less stressful and keep you in control and the costs contained. Call today for an initial consultation at 480-240-0040 or [email protected]. Our family lawyers can also help with divorce litigation, child custodylegal guardianshippaternityprenuptial agreements, and more.

*This information is not intended to be legal advice. Please contact Canterbury Law Group today to learn more about your personal legal needs.

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When To Get A Divorce

When To Get A Divorce

Divorce is a painful decision to face and then make but there are times it is the only viable way forward. When considering terminating your marriage, you can look for various signs to decide on when it would be best to divorce. Sometimes there are more consequences of a negative nature by staying rather than leaving. Read on to consider the following.

Severity Of Your Arguments

If there are more positive interactions between you both than there are negative ones, it does not automatically mean a divorce is not needed. Hurtful and severe arguing is a key sign it may be time to get a divorce. Some couples maintain relationships that are unhealthy to both parties because they seldom argue but still exhibit abusive and/or hurtful behaviors that are destructive in the relationship. This is especially the case when arguments are reduced to a series of personal insults as opposed to discussing the topic at hand. Arguing is a normal part of any relationship but it should not be almost an everyday occurrence and the other person should not feel devalued during the argument. When conflicts cannot be restored in a way that sticks to the issue at hand, it is a sign you may need to speak to a divorce attorney.

Counseling Is Not Effective

Marriage counseling can be an awesome way to move forward with your spouse as well as having the great benefit of a third party who is impartial and is trained in bringing about resolutions following disputes. It works for many couples, but most partners have to be invested in the process for it to work. If after a few months of counseling, no progress has been made, it may be a sign of it being time to get a divorce.

Abusive Situations

There is never any acceptable excuse for abuse be it, sexual, emotional or physical. When you have been abused you should not feel bad about deciding to leave your abuser. Your child or children will benefit from not being subject to the abuse, or watching it happen A marriage does not represent ownership of the other person. Nobody can rationally dispute abuse as being a totally solid reason to obtain a divorce.

Negative Interactions

For a long time, psychologists have been in unison that the quantity of disagreements is more impactful in a relationship than the severity of interactions. Their ratio is five positive interactions for every negative interaction. Many people weigh positive versus negative when deciding about divorce. Obviously, if the negative interactions are far outweighing the positive ones and have been doing so for some time, then it can be an indicator you should seek a divorce and seek the advice of a divorce attorney.

Differing Beliefs

Couple need to have shared values for a marriage to be successful even if they have separate and different systems of spiritual belief. When the central values of your relationship are no longer in alignment, it will be very difficult, if not impossible, to discover common ground. Looking to the future is often a requirement of divorce and discovering an individual’s concept of the future and ensuring it is agreeable to the other partner is very important. If this cannot be reconciled, it may be a sign a divorce is needed.

Irreconcilable Anger

A good person can commit an action they regret when the pain and anger they’re experiencing becomes too much. This is a clear indicator it is time to move on. If you feel you have to stop yourself from causing harm to your spouse, or even yourself, it is time the relationship was ended. Sometimes, from a mental standpoint, there can seem to be no exit – but you never want to risk abusing your partner.

Lack of Faithfulness

When either or both couples have pursued relationships outside of their marriage, many people see it as a sure sign the time has come to end the marriage. However, divorce is often a matter of choosing the right moment. Marriage counseling may be able to offer insight as to whether you can survive the impact and effects of an affair or whether you should be considering divorce. Trust is sacrificed in a relationship when one party is unfaithful and that often leads to divorce as an inevitable outcome.

Relationship Exhaustion

This is often the sign that clinches in your min d that you require a divorce. Having gone through all the steps to rescue your relationship, sometimes your emotional wellbeing can only be saved by a divorce. However, when a party or perhaps both parties have checked out of a relationship on an emotional level, it becomes highly unlikely you will find an answer to your outstanding issues.

Other Indicators

It is not uncommon for individuals to seek and speak with a divorce attorney before they have decided to divorce. Indeed, it is not unknown for individuals or couples to do so even when going through the process of marriage counseling. This may seem odd but often a divorce attorney can be a highly valued resource for information about how and when to divorce and if a legal separation would work or not. They may even suggest separation on a temporary basis to give both parties some space to consider their options. This often brings couples back together.

Source: Rangel, Julie, et al. “When to Divorce: 9 Signs You Need to Get Out.” GuideDoc, 11 Feb. 2018, https://guidedoc.com/when-to-divorce.

Need a Divorce Lawyer in Scottsdale or Phoenix?

We have a network of Arizona mediators, attorneys, tax specialists, estate planners, financial planners, child specialists, real property appraisers, adult and child therapists and parenting coordinators who are here for you if you ever need them. Our lawyersdivorce mediators and collaborative divorce attorneys in Scottsdale are here to make your divorce less stressful and keep you in control and the costs contained. Call today for an initial consultation at 480-240-0040 or [email protected]. Our family lawyers can also help with divorce litigation, child custodylegal guardianshippaternityprenuptial agreements, and more.

*This information is not intended to be legal advice. Please contact Canterbury Law Group today to learn more about your personal legal needs.

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How To Prepare For Divorce

How To Prepare For Divorce

When it comes to considering divorce, you need to know what to do prior to filing your case. The following should assist in the preparation for a divorce as well as making sure your financial needs are protected as the divorce commences and proceeds. The more on top of these issues you can be before your file, the easier it will be for your attorney to understand the nature of your case. Read on to learn more.

1. Put Money Aside

As divorces can be very expensive (even more so if you want to hire the services of an attorney) it is vitally important to start saving money now, so you are able to meet all of your obligations once the divorce has been finalized.  Consider saving ‘cash’ and placing in a safe place so that you know your spouse will not take the funds.

2. Open Another Account

Opening an individual and a separate bank account is a very wise idea and if you receive a paycheck have it (or at least a portion of it) deposited into this new account where your spouse does not have access to the funds. While the money is likely still community property, at least you have direct control over the cash flow before you file the case.

3. Watch Spending

It will be a requirement to reduce your expenses that are not essential. Now is not the time to make significant purchases or buy gifts and presents as the divorce preparation is underway.

4. Joint Accounts

It is time to close any joint accounts you have. If credit cards are jointly held by your spouse and yourself, it is time they were canceled or the name of one of the partners be taken off the account. In the case of a joint bank account, consider splitting the money and then closing the account to invest in your own individual account.  Change online passwords for banking on the day you file.

5. Family Finances

It is paramount to keep a good track on the finances of your family. This should include the income of both spouses as well as debts, expenses and assets.

6. Financial Documentation

Start making copies of financial documents that will be important. In this, include pay stubs, bank account statements and credit card statements, as well as receipts for significant purchases you have made and tax returns.  If your spouse “keeps you in the dark” on finances, its time to get wise, ideally before you file.

7. Protecting Documents

It is wise not to keep your financial documents at home. Consider opening a safe deposit box with yourself as the only name on the box as well as being the sole keyholder. Alternatively, you may use the home of a trusted family member. Down the road, the documents may be of great importance as you go through the many aspects of the divorce process.

8. Tracking Child Interaction

Tracking important information now such as writing down who takes your child or children to their extracurricular interests and other important appointments may be of great benefit if you are anticipating there to be a dispute for the custody of your child or children.

9. Police Records

If there are any drug evaluations or police reports that may indicate one spouse should not have custody of your children – it is important to keep this documentation secure and away from home.  If you don’t have copies, go back to the local police station and ask for duplicates.

10. School Details

Contact the schools your child or children attend and get records of which parent attended conferences with teachers as well as attending school functions. This may be a key to establishing how much you are involved in the lives of your child or children.

11. Stay Put

Although it may be tempting do not move from the home and reside elsewhere unless there is violence in the current home. Above all, try to stay with your child or children in the home until the divorce is finalized. Courts on occasions will consider this and give more parenting time to the parent who does this when it comes to awarding custody.

12. Divorce Attorneys

Now is the time to look for and establish a relationship with a divorce attorney. Try several different attorneys and maybe ask for recommendations from your friends. Feeling comfortable with your choice of divorce attorney is a key ingredient to success. It’s a lot like choosing a doctor, or therapist, there must be mutual comfort and respect.

13. Financial Planning

Make some appointments to see some financial professionals at the outset of your divorce process – this may include a financial planner and/or an accountant. These financial specialists can help you with the upcoming economic outcome of your divorce once it is finalized.

14. Emotional Well-Being

The divorce process can take a huge toll on your emotional well-being. Consulting with a therapist can really help maintain your health and taking the time to speak to a child therapist will also assist in making your children feel as less stress as possible as the divorce proceeds.

Source: Gambone, Angie. “How to Prepare for Divorce While Married.” LegalZoom Legal Info, 18 July 2016, https://info.legalzoom.com/prepare-divorce-married-25040.html.

Need a Divorce Lawyer in Scottsdale or Phoenix?

We have a network of Arizona mediators, attorneys, tax specialists, estate planners, financial planners, child specialists, real property appraisers, adult and child therapists and parenting coordinators who are here for you if you ever need them. Our lawyersdivorce mediators and collaborative divorce attorneys in Scottsdale are here to make your divorce less stressful and keep you in control and costs contained. Call today for an initial consultation at 480-240-0040 or [email protected]. Our family lawyers can also help with divorce litigation, child custodylegal guardianshippaternityprenuptial agreements, and more.

*This information is not intended to be legal advice. Please contact Canterbury Law Group today to learn more about your personal legal needs.

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Written by Canterbury Law Group

What is the Average Retainer Fee For a Divorce Lawyer?

What Is The Average Retainer Fee For A Divorce Lawyer

The average retainer fee for a divorce lawyer is $3,500 with costs varying from $2,000 to $5,000 for the US in 2019-2020.

When you are thinking about getting the services of a divorce lawyer, the cost of doing so is a question that often weighs heavily. We conducted a survey where people from across the United States who had recently gone through a divorce had to spend. Read on to learn more.

In our survey 85% of our respondents had the lawyers deal with the total divorce case, from its outset to its conclusion. This is often referred to as full-scope representation. The other 15% responded saying they hired attorneys on a consulting basis. In these cases, the lawyers may have helped in some of the following ways: They may have reviewed a portion of the case on their behalf, give other advice and examples of established practice as well as reviewing and preparing a settlement agreement. Interestingly, the average cost as reported by 70% of our respondents was between $200 to $300 per hour for divorce attorneys.

Divorce Lawyers’ Average Hourly Rates

Respondents stated they paid an average of $270 per hour for the services of a divorce attorney as a national average. However hourly rates change dramatically based on the experience of the attorney where they practice and whether they have any certifications or specialized training.

Average Divorce Attorney Cost

When our respondents hired lawyers for full-scope services they reported paying an average of $11,300. Many were lower, but the average is inflated by a small percentage paying very high fees for said services. The median total was $7,000. 42 percent of respondents stated they paid $5,000 or less in total fees to their divorce attorneys. And 28 percent paid between $6,000 to $10,000 in attorney’s fees (not counting the fees of their spouse.)

Examining the data two interconnected factors are at play contributing to the final costs. First, couples always paid less when they were able to resolve any disputes without going through a trial and how long the divorce process took. Conversely, respondents who had at least one issue that had to be contested in court paid around 70 percent more in attorney’s fees.

Cost Factors of A Contested Divorce

It would therefore stand to reason that when there are not serious disagreements, the fees for attorneys will be significantly less – even when you may have to come to a settlement on a few matters via negotiation. Respondents who reported zero contested issues but still opted for a full scope legal service paid $4,000 per spouse on average in fees, versus $10,400 when they had one item that was disputed but avoided going to court be utilizing a process of negotiation. But when a trial was needed the fees leapt up more than 70 percent to around $17,700 per spouse on average.

Divorce Costs More If It Takes Longer

The longer your divorce takes the more fees you will pay to a divorce attorney. We also learned from our respondents that divorces that took less than six months to conclude only cost an average of $6,500. Compare that to cases that took more than thirty months to resolve and the average skyrocketed to $23,000. Remember, there can be many reasons why this can be an elongated process – so finding a lawyer who is efficient and highly experienced will help keep the costs of your divorce within a reasonable scope.

What Do Lawyers Charge For?

Attorneys often bill in increments of six or fifteen minutes for each and everything they do in your case including:

  • Research and documentation review.
  • Prepping and appearing at the hearings and trial(s.)
  • Every communication you have with them through every media.
  • Preparing settlement agreements.
  • Investigative discovery, depositions and motion hearings.
  • Communicating with the other involved parties.
  • The relevant follow-up legal work after the trial concludes.

Average Retainer Fees For A Divorce Lawyer

It is standard operating procedure for a lawyer to get an advance on their fees (known as a retainer.) These usually cost between $2,000 to $5,000. Around 90% of our respondents said they paid a retainer upon hiring their new divorce attorney.

Sharing Divorce Costs

In the majority of states, a family law judge may insist one spouse pay the attorney fees of the other spouse. This is especially so when there is a large disparity in income and one spouse is it a disadvantage. Nonetheless, less than one in five of our respondents claimed their ex contributed to the fees of an attorney or that they paid some of the fees for the ex-spouse.

Inevitably some divorces are more expensive than others. If evaluators are needed for custody issues and forensic accountants needed to investigate financial matters. Our respondent data showed the average cost was $1,850 for each spouse just for the experts. Whereas non-attorney costs were just $500. Add in a contested issue and the price can quickly escalate to an average of $1,600 and an average of $2,750 should the situation have to be handled by the courts.

If you need mediators, the mediation charges will usually be billed to you by your attorney. Your fee agreement will state how these should be handled and paid. Always discuss financial issues at the outset of your initial meeting with an attorney and along the way, as your case advances forward.

Need a Divorce Lawyer in Scottsdale or Phoenix?

We have a network of Arizona mediators, attorneys, tax specialists, estate planners, financial planners, child specialists, real property appraisers, adult and child therapists and parenting coordinators who are here for you if you ever need them. Our lawyersdivorce mediators and collaborative divorce attorneys in Scottsdale are here to make your divorce less stressful and keep you in control and costs contained. Call today for an initial consultation at 480-240-0040 or [email protected]. Our family lawyers can also help with divorce litigation, child custodylegal guardianshippaternityprenuptial agreements, and more.

*This information is not intended to be legal advice. Please contact Canterbury Law Group today to learn more about your personal legal needs.

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Written by Canterbury Law Group

How Much Does an Uncontested Divorce Cost?

How Much Does an Uncontested Divorce Cost

The average cost of an uncontested divorce is $750 with prices ranging from $100 to $1,500 for the US in 2019-2020.

A large amount of money can be saved if your spouse and you can agree to divorce, how the divorce will take place and how your lives are going to be separated. This situation often leads to what is known as an “uncontested divorce.” The total cost will be determined by several aspects. If you have no issue with becoming a part of the legal procedures of your state, the cost may well be under $500. It will obviously be higher if you utilize the services of an attorney.

Uncontested Divorce

An uncontested divorce can be handy if the following has been agreed on by both partners:

  • How custody, parenting responsibilities and parenting time will be shared.
  • The duration and total amount of child support payments.
  • The duration and total of spousal support payments also known as alimony.
  • How all property will be divided.
  • How all debt will be divided.

Once all of these items have been agreed to, there is no need to take your arguments to court. The way to wrap up your divorce case is to file the required court forms as well as a “divorce settlement agreement” detailing the agreed arrangements for the aspects discussed above.  These papers can also be called a proposed “decree” and “joint parenting plan” if there are children.

DIY Divorce

When you have decided the best option is not to use an attorney – there are two choices open to you. For less than a few hundred dollars, you can usually purchase what is often called a “divorce kit” – a commercial product availably widely online – they will include all the required forms for the state you live in but it is important to know that despite this commercial paid option, most, if not all, of the mandatory forms are usually available without cost on judicial websites in your County. More often than not, they also come with instructions for filling the documents in correctly.

Cost of Uncontested Divorce With a Lawyer

When you have decided to use the services of a lawyer, the cost of a divorce that is uncontested will vary depending on the lawyer you hire, where you reside and the fee/payment arrangement. Flat fees are often charged by attorneys for cases of uncontested divorces. However, some attorneys prefer to charge retainer fees. These are deposits billed (usually on a monthly basis_ against the value of any services and hours that have been rendered in the case. Flat fees, depending on the complexity of your situation can run from $200 to about $1,500 per person. Retaining an attorney is likely to bring rates ranging from $250 to $450 per hour, billed against your initial deposit. Do not be surprised that attorneys in large population centers charge more money than attorneys in rural locations.

Additional Costs

Regardless of your methodology you can expect further court imposed costs. The state court will charge a fee for the filing of a divorce petition and you can expect to pay around $350. If you want to use the services of a private processor sheriff to deliver the petition to your former partner, you can expect to pay anywhere between $35 to $100. In most areas this fee can be waived if your spouse is amicable. They can sign off on a waiver of service indicating acceptance of the petition and this can then be filed with the appropriate court. Nonetheless, it is a wise idea to budget an additional $300 to $350 for additional costs you may encounter.

Other Divorce Options

Some other options on the table to help reduce the expense of an uncontested divorce include hiring legal services who will assemble and prepare the relevant paperwork on your behalf – usually with a price tag of around $300 to $500. You can pay an attorney by the hour for them to review the paperwork as well – hence avoiding a costly retainer charge for them to review pre-agreed and specified services.

Source: Bishop, Susan. “Basics of the Uncontested Divorce.” Www.divorcenet.com, Nolo, 12 Sept. 2013, https://www.divorcenet.com/resources/divorce/basics-uncontested-divorce.htm.

See Also:

Need a Divorce Lawyer in Scottsdale or Phoenix?

We have a network of Arizona mediators, attorneys, tax specialists, estate planners, financial planners, child specialists, real property appraisers, adult and child therapists and parenting coordinators who are here for you if you ever need them. Our lawyersdivorce mediators and collaborative divorce attorneys in Scottsdale are here to make your divorce less stressful and keep you in control and costs contained. Call today for an initial consultation at 480-240-0040 or [email protected]. Our family lawyers can also help with divorce litigation, child custodylegal guardianshippaternityprenuptial agreements, and more.

*This information is not intended to be legal advice. Please contact Canterbury Law Group today to learn more about your personal legal needs.

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