Category Archives: Mother’s Rights

Parenting agreements are legally binding documents created by parents (or guardians) to outline the terms and conditions regarding the care, upbringing, and responsibilities of their children after separation or divorce. These agreements can be formal or informal and are often designed to promote the best interests of the child while minimizing conflicts between parents.

Key Features of Parenting Agreements

1. Custody Arrangements
   • Parenting agreements define legal custody (the right to make significant decisions about the child’s upbringing, such as education and healthcare) and physical custody (where the child lives).
   • They may specify whether custody will be joint (shared by both parents) or sole (awarded to one parent).
2. Visitation Schedules
   • The agreement outlines a detailed visitation schedule for the non-custodial parent, including days, times, holidays, and vacations.
   • It may also include provisions for pick-up and drop-off arrangements.
3. Decision-Making Authority
   • Parents can specify how major decisions regarding the child’s welfare will be made, including education, health care, and religious upbringing.
   • The agreement may establish whether both parents must agree on these decisions or if one parent has the authority to make them independently.
4. Financial Responsibilities
   • Parenting agreements often address financial obligations related to the child, including child support payments, healthcare costs, education expenses, and extracurricular activities.
   • This section can also include provisions for how expenses will be shared or covered.
5. Communication Guidelines
   • The agreement may set forth guidelines for how parents will communicate about their child’s needs and any necessary decisions.
   • It can include preferred communication methods (e.g., email, text, phone) and expectations for respectful dialogue.
6. Dispute Resolution
   • The agreement may outline procedures for resolving disputes that may arise regarding the parenting plan. This could include mediation or arbitration before seeking court intervention.
7. Flexibility and Modifications
   • While parenting agreements are legally binding, they should also include provisions for making modifications if circumstances change (e.g., relocation, changes in work schedules).
   • The agreement may specify how modifications can be requested and the process for making changes.
8. Signatures and Legal Enforcement
   • For the parenting agreement to be enforceable, both parents must sign it. In some jurisdictions, it may need to be filed with a court or approved by a judge to become a court order.
   • If a parent fails to adhere to the agreement, the other parent may seek enforcement through the court system.

Benefits of Parenting Agreements

• Clarity and Structure: Parenting agreements provide a clear framework for parenting responsibilities, reducing confusion and potential conflicts.
• Child’s Best Interests: These agreements are designed to prioritize the child’s well-being and stability by providing a predictable routine.
• Minimized Conflict: By clearly outlining expectations and responsibilities, parenting agreements can help minimize disputes between parents.
• Flexibility: Well-drafted agreements allow for modifications, accommodating changing circumstances in the families’ lives.
• Legal Protection: Once approved by a court, parenting agreements have legal weight, making it easier to enforce the terms if necessary.

Conclusion

Parenting agreements are essential tools for divorced or separated parents to ensure that their children’s needs are met while providing a clear structure for parenting responsibilities. By outlining custody arrangements, visitation schedules, financial obligations, and dispute resolution processes, these agreements promote cooperation and communication between parents, ultimately benefiting the child. Consulting with a family law attorney can help ensure that the agreement is comprehensive, enforceable, and tailored to the family’s unique needs.

Enforcing custody and child support orders can be a complex and frustrating process, but there are steps you can take to ensure your child receives the support and care they deserve. Here’s an overview of your options:

Before taking action:

• Review the order carefully: Understand the specifics of your custody and child support agreements, including visitation schedules, payment amounts, and deadlines.
• Document any violations: Keep detailed records of any missed visits, late payments, or other violations of the order. Include dates, times, and any witnesses or evidence.
• Communicate with the other parent: Attempt to resolve the issue amicably through direct communication. Express your concerns and try to find a solution that works for both parties.

If communication fails:

For custody violations:

• Contact local law enforcement: If the other parent refuses to return your child after a visit or interferes with your parenting time, you can contact law enforcement to enforce the order.
• File a motion for contempt of court: This legal action requests that the court find the other parent in contempt for violating the custody order and impose penalties, such as fines, jail time, or changes to the custody agreement.

For child support violations:

• Report the delinquency to the child support agency: Your state likely has a child support agency that can help with enforcement. They can take actions like wage garnishment, tax refund interceptions, and license suspensions against the non-paying parent.
• File a motion for contempt of court: Similar to custody violations, you can ask the court to find the other parent in contempt for failing to pay child support and impose penalties.

Additional resources:

• Family law attorney: Consulting with a lawyer experienced in family law can provide valuable guidance and representation throughout the enforcement process.
• Online resources: Many government agencies and legal organizations offer online resources and information on enforcing child support and custody orders.

Remember:

• Documentation is key: Maintain detailed records of your attempts to resolve the issue and any subsequent actions you take.
• Be patient: Enforcing orders can take time. Be persistent and follow through on all steps.
• Seek professional help: Don’t hesitate to consult with a lawyer if you need assistance navigating the legal process or protecting your child’s rights.

Handling Custody Violations

Handling custody violations can be emotionally charged and demanding, but taking the right steps can help you protect your child’s well-being and enforce the court-ordered custody agreement.

Before Taking Action:

• Gather Information: Clearly understand the specifics of the custody agreement, including visitation schedules, communication protocols, and exchange procedures.
• Document Violations: Maintain detailed records of each violation, including dates, times, circumstances, and any witnesses or evidence (e.g., texts, emails).
• Attempt Direct Communication: Try to resolve the issue directly with the other parent. Clearly express your concerns and attempt to find an amicable solution.

If Communication Fails:

Severity of Violation:

• Minor Violations: Consider the severity of the violation. Minor inconsistencies or scheduling mishaps might warrant a more informal approach like mediation before resorting to legal action.
• Serious Violations: For serious violations like prolonged withholding of the child, interference with visits, or endangering the child’s safety, immediate legal action is crucial.

Legal Options:

Contempt of Court:

• File a motion for contempt: This legal action requests the court to find the other parent in contempt for violating the custody order. If proven, the court can impose penalties like fines, jail time, makeup visitation, or even changes to the custody agreement.
• Gather Evidence: Prepare a strong case with documented evidence of the violations, witness testimonies (if applicable), and communication attempts.
• Consider Legal Representation: Consulting a lawyer experienced in family law can provide invaluable guidance and representation throughout the contempt proceedings.

Additional Actions:

• Mediation or Collaborative Law: Explore alternative dispute resolution methods like mediation or collaborative law to reach an agreement outside of court, potentially saving time and money.
• Report to Child Protective Services: If the child’s safety is at risk due to the violation, contacting child protective services might be necessary to ensure their well-being.

Remember:

• Document Everything: Maintain detailed records of all communication, actions taken, and legal proceedings for future reference.
• Prioritize Child’s Well-being: Keep the child’s best interests at the forefront of your decisions and actions throughout the process.
• Seek Professional Help: Don’t hesitate to consult with a lawyer for personalized guidance and representation, especially in complex or serious situations.

By understanding your options, gathering evidence, and potentially seeking legal support, you can effectively address custody violations and advocate for your child’s rights.

Handling Child Support Violations

Dealing with child support violations can be frustrating and stressful, but there are effective steps you can take to ensure your child receives the financial support they deserve. Here’s a breakdown of your options:

Before Taking Action:

• Review the Order: Thoroughly understand the specifics of the child support agreement, including payment amounts, deadlines, and communication protocols.
• Gather Evidence: Maintain detailed records of missed or late payments, including dates, amounts, and any communication attempts with the other parent.
• Contact the Payor: Try to resolve the issue directly. Express your concerns and attempt to find an amicable solution, like a payment plan.

If Communication Fails:

Formalizing Enforcement:

• Report to Child Support Agency: Most states have child support agencies that handle enforcement. They can initiate actions like wage garnishment, tax refund interception, and license suspensions against the non-paying parent.
• File Motion for Contempt: This legal action requests the court to find the other parent in contempt for violating the child support order. If proven, the court can impose penalties like fines, jail time, or even changes to the child support amount.

Additional Strategies:

• Hire a Family Law Attorney: Experienced legal counsel can guide you through the process, navigate complex situations, and protect your rights.
• Consider Mediation: Explore alternative dispute resolution to reach an agreement outside of court, potentially saving time and money.
• Credit Reporting: In some cases, reporting the delinquency to credit bureaus might incentivize payment.

Remember:

• Documentation is Key: Maintain detailed records of your attempts to resolve the issue and any subsequent actions taken.
• Be Patient: Enforcement can take time. Be persistent and follow through on all steps.
• Seek Professional Help: Don’t hesitate to consult a lawyer, especially in complex situations or if significant amounts are owed.

Additional Resources:

• Your State’s Child Support Agency: Find relevant information, resources, and online tools for enforcement.
• National Child Support Enforcement Association: Offers informative resources and guidance on child support matters.
• Federal Office of Child Support Enforcement: Provides information and resources on federal involvement in child support enforcement.

By understanding your options, taking proactive steps, and potentially seeking legal support, you can increase your chances of successfully enforcing the child support order and ensure your child receives the financial resources they are entitled to.

Dealing with child support violations can be frustrating and stressful, but there are effective steps you can take to ensure your child receives the financial support they deserve. Here’s a breakdown of your options:

Before Taking Action:

• Review the Order: Thoroughly understand the specifics of the child support agreement, including payment amounts, deadlines, and communication protocols.
• Gather Evidence: Maintain detailed records of missed or late payments, including dates, amounts, and any communication attempts with the other parent.
• Contact the Payor: Try to resolve the issue directly. Express your concerns and attempt to find an amicable solution, like a payment plan.

If Communication Fails:

Formalizing Enforcement:

• Report to Child Support Agency: Most states have child support agencies that handle enforcement. They can initiate actions like wage garnishment, tax refund interception, and license suspensions against the non-paying parent.
• File Motion for Contempt: This legal action requests the court to find the other parent in contempt for violating the child support order. If proven, the court can impose penalties like fines, jail time, or even changes to the child support amount.

Additional Strategies:

• Hire a Family Law Attorney: Experienced legal counsel can guide you through the process, navigate complex situations, and protect your rights.
• Consider Mediation: Explore alternative dispute resolution to reach an agreement outside of court, potentially saving time and money.
• Credit Reporting: In some cases, reporting the delinquency to credit bureaus might incentivize payment.

Remember:

• Documentation is Key: Maintain detailed records of your attempts to resolve the issue and any subsequent actions taken.
• Be Patient: Enforcement can take time. Be persistent and follow through on all steps.
• Seek Professional Help: Don’t hesitate to consult a lawyer, especially in complex situations or if significant amounts are owed.

Additional Resources:

• Your State’s Child Support Agency: Find relevant information, resources, and online tools for enforcement.
• National Child Support Enforcement Association: Offers informative resources and guidance on child support matters.
• Federal Office of Child Support Enforcement: Provides information and resources on federal involvement in child support enforcement.

By understanding your options, taking proactive steps, and potentially seeking legal support, you can increase your chances of successfully enforcing the child support order and ensure your child receives the financial resources they are entitled to.

Children aren’t mature enough to have the same rights as parents, but they have certain protections. These ensure the best interest of the child.

The right to state their opinion

In some states, the court must consider the child’s custody preference when making the final custody decision. The judge usually figures this out by interviewing the child in private. The older the child, the more weight is given to their opinion.

The court won’t always go along with what the child says, even in states like Georgia, where children 14 or older can generally choose whom they want to live with. The judge must rule in line with the child’s best interest. So if a child wants to live with a parent simply because that parent lets them stay up late, the judge will only go with that if that parent is the most competent.

Children can testify during a trial if they have information that can impact the verdict. This is rare since testifying can be distressing for a child. Instead, the judge usually speaks to the child in private or appoints a professional like a custody evaluator to assess the situation.

The right to legal representation

Children have a right to their own legal representation if necessary.

Guardians ad litem represent the child’s best interest. They are usually reserved for cases involving abuse or neglect, but some states assign them in all child custody cases.

Attorneys ad litem represent what the child wants. Typically, they’re appointed on a case-by-case basis, but there are courts that require their involvement for specific case types.

These professionals speak for the child in court and advocate for their rights. Also, they might conduct a short investigation that includes interviews with each parent and a viewing of the child’s potential homes.

The right to safety, education and healthcare

Children have the right to live in an environment free of substance abuse, violence and other dangers. This is why child welfare agencies can intervene when parents put a child in danger. This right also impacts whether a parent receives physical custody.

The right to have a relationship with both parents

Research has shown that children fare better when both parents are part of their lives. For this reason, courts seek to make custody rulings that let the child build a relationship with both parents. Even if a parent isn’t fit for custody, protections like supervised visitation ensure the child can safely be around them.

Parents must also protect this right by allowing visits and not interfering with the other parent’s time with the child. Otherwise, they could lose custody.

The right to financial support

So long as the child is under 18, parents must financially support them.

When parents separate, one typically pays child support to the other. The payer is generally the noncustodial parent or the parent who sees the child less often. If the parent fails to pay support, they could faces penalties ranging from fines to jail time.

Best Interest of the Child

When a court is asked to decide on issues of custody, they will use the best interests of the child standard to do so. In other words, the primary goal of the court isn’t necessarily doing what either parent wants but instead is doing what is best for the children involved.

Courts can consider many factors to determine the best interests of the child including:

• The recommendations made by a mental health professional after a custody evaluation
• The preference of the child if they are old enough to have an opinion
• Who has been the child’s primary caregiver (if either parent has)
• The ability of each parent to provide a stable, loving home
• Whether the child has any special needs
• The emotional ties the child has with parents, siblings and other household members
• The parents’ ability to provide connections with support networks, including extended family members
• The mental and physical needs of the child
• The presence of domestic violence in the home

The specifics vary by state. Courts do not express a preference for parents of a particular gender (such as defaulting to giving custody to a mother). Instead, the goal is to look at the big picture and see which custody arrangement would best ensure the child’s stability and security moving forward. And, in most cases, this means keeping both parents in the child’s life.

Source

https://www.custodyxchange.com/topics/custody/legal-concepts/children-custody-rights.php

https://www.forbes.com/advisor/legal/child-custody/child-custody/ 

In the last few years, Arizona has completed an overhaul of custody laws. Essentially moving to a model based on “parenting time” and “legal decision making” as opposed to the terminology previously utilized for custody issues. In January 2013 this move took effect and signified a shift of emphasis towards making joint parenting a priority as opposed to the older legislative model that tended to use every other weekend style custody arrangements and that Mothers would no longer be favored over Fathers automatically as the parent with primary custodial responsibility.

Although there has been a change in the statutory language and terminology used, child custody determination still use legal decision making in an effective manner. Primarily, the determination of parenting time and legal decision-making reflect which of the parents have the right to make certain decisions on behalf of the child or children as well as how much time the individual patent gets to spend with the child or children.

The following discusses how Arizona courts make their determinations of parenting time and legal decision-making.

Determining Legal Decision Making

Based on the best interests of the child, Arizona decided to replace legal custody with legal decision making authority. This means legal decision making allows parents to make important decisions regarding the life of a child or children. These can include, personal care, education, healthcare, and religion. The courts will consider “all factors that are relevant to the child’s physical and emotional well-being”, as outlined by  A.R.S. §25-403. – when making a determination of which parents will have this authority.

There are many factors which courts consider that are specifically mentioned in this particular Arizona statute including:

• The adjustment of the child or children to their school, community and home environments
• The child or childrens’ relationships and interactions with siblings, parents and other people who can have a significant effect on the best interest of the child or children
• The physical and mental health of the parents
• An examination of the parent and child or children’s past, present and potential future parental relationships
• If the child or children are of a suitable age, their personal wishes of who they wish to primarily reside with
• A determination of whether child abuse or domestic violence has been a feature of the home life of the child or children

In summary, the court examines many factors when the court determines which parent should have the authority of legal decision-making. Once everything has been given due consideration, the court will decide to give sole legal decision-making authority to one parent or joint legal decision making authority to both parents. Most similar in form to being granted sole custody, sole legal decision-making authority means one parent is granted the authority to take the major decisions regarding the life and welfare of the child or children. Conversely, both parents will have an obligation to work together if joint decision making is granted by the court.

Legal Decision-Making Considerations

The other primary part of custody is known as “parenting time.” This determines how much time a parent is authorized to physically spend with their child or children and decisions are made by the court using the principles of the “best interests of the child.” A.R.S. §25-403.02 states that parents in Arizona have to submit a mandatory plan of parenting if both parents are unable to come to an agreement regarding the time each parent will spend with their child or children. Because the courts will always make a decision based on the child’s best interest, it is worth noting the determination of joint legal decision-making may not necessarily justify equal parenting time. In a similar vein, the parent who lacks the authority to make decisions is still entitled to a meaningful and productive relationship with the child or children. Only in the case where a parent is not in a fit state to be with their child or children (often for reasons such as child abuse or substance abuse), it is very likely both parents will be granted enough time by the court to continue developing a meaningful relationship with their child or children. As ever, the actual time will be determined by what is in the best interests of the child or children.

Non-Considered Factors

Many people think the female parent will be automatically awarded as the primary caretaker of the child or children. This is simply no longer the case in Arizona.  The parent’s enthusiasm and relationship with the child are paramount. The wealth of the parent or their socioeconomic status has almost nothing to do with the Court’s decision.

Parents only have to provide adequate and safe accommodation for the child or children. The court will not always grant custody to the parent who happens to be more affluent. Both parents should be able to provide comfortable living conditions, cleanliness and the ability to provide for the healthcare of the child. Regarding religion, it is important to be reminded of the fact the court will always act in the best interests of the child or children. Providing the religion of the parent does not cause harm to the child or children – the religion of the parents are not grounds for parental duties disqualification.  Put another way, Mom goes to her church on her days, and Father does or does not attend his venue with the children on his days.

Other Important Considerations

• In Arizona, family law courts have the ability to grant both joint and sole custody. It is more common for sole custody to be granted when the parties cannot reach a mutual agreement
• If you use unsubstantiated or false allegations of neglect or abuse against the other parent – it will be used against you by the courts in the process of decision-making; be very careful what you allege in your papers, they are tendered under penalty of perjury
• The more mature or older the children or child will be increasingly considered (e.g interviewed)  in the legal process
• Remember the parent who is more open to negotiation and communication with the other parent is often more likely to obtain primary custody or the majority of the children or child’s guardianship

When both parents submit a written plan for parenting and are open to communication and negotiation, the court will grant joint custody on the occasions it is in the best interests of the child or children. Families settle on a successful custody situation in more than 95% of the cases outside the court system in an amicable manner. However, if you are unable to make a mutually successful achievement on a child custody agreement, talk to a family law attorney to investigate your options in achieving resolution via litigation.

Sources:

Hg.org, www.hg.org/legal-articles/how-is-child-custody-determined-in-arizona-29809.

In the last few years, Arizona has completed an overhaul of custody laws. Essentially moving to a model based on “parenting time” and “legal decision making” as opposed to the terminology previously utilized for custody issues. In January 2013 this move took effect and signified a shift of emphasis towards making joint parenting a priority as opposed to the older legislative model that tended to use every other weekend style custody arrangements and that Mothers would no longer be favored over Fathers automatically as the parent with primary custodial responsibility.

Although there has been a change in the statutory language and terminology used, child custody determination still use legal decision making in an effective manner. Primarily, the determination of parenting time and legal decision-making reflect which of the parents have the right to make certain decisions on behalf of the child or children as well as how much time the individual patent gets to spend with the child or children.

The following discusses how Arizona courts make their determinations of parenting time and legal decision-making.

Determining Legal Decision Making

Based on the best interests of the child, Arizona decided to replace legal custody with legal decision making authority. This means legal decision making allows parents to make important decisions regarding the life of a child or children. These can include, personal care, education, healthcare, and religion. The courts will consider “all factors that are relevant to the child’s physical and emotional well-being”, as outlined by  A.R.S. §25-403. – when making a determination of which parents will have this authority.

There are many factors which courts consider that are specifically mentioned in this particular Arizona statute including:

• The adjustment of the child or children to their school, community and home environments
• The child or childrens’ relationships and interactions with siblings, parents and other people who can have a significant effect on the best interest of the child or children
• The physical and mental health of the parents
• An examination of the parent and child or children’s past, present and potential future parental relationships
• If the child or children are of a suitable age, their personal wishes of who they wish to primarily reside with
• A determination of whether child abuse or domestic violence has been a feature of the home life of the child or children

In summary, the court examines many factors when the court determines which parent should have the authority of legal decision-making. Once everything has been given due consideration, the court will decide to give sole legal decision-making authority to one parent or joint legal decision making authority to both parents. Most similar in form to being granted sole custody, sole legal decision-making authority means one parent is granted the authority to take the major decisions regarding the life and welfare of the child or children. Conversely, both parents will have an obligation to work together if joint decision making is granted by the court.

Legal Decision-Making Considerations

The other primary part of custody is known as “parenting time.” This determines how much time a parent is authorized to physically spend with their child or children and decisions are made by the court using the principles of the “best interests of the child.” A.R.S. §25-403.02 states that parents in Arizona have to submit a mandatory plan of parenting if both parents are unable to come to an agreement regarding the time each parent will spend with their child or children. Because the courts will always make a decision based on the child’s best interest, it is worth noting the determination of joint legal decision-making may not necessarily justify equal parenting time. In a similar vein, the parent who lacks the authority to make decisions is still entitled to a meaningful and productive relationship with the child or children. Only in the case where a parent is not in a fit state to be with their child or children (often for reasons such as child abuse or substance abuse), it is very likely both parents will be granted enough time by the court to continue developing a meaningful relationship with their child or children. As ever, the actual time will be determined by what is in the best interests of the child or children.

Non-Considered Factors

Many people think the female parent will be automatically awarded as the primary caretaker of the child or children. This is simply no longer the case in Arizona.  The parent’s enthusiasm and relationship with the child are paramount. The wealth of the parent or their socioeconomic status has almost nothing to do with the Court’s decision.

Parents only have to provide adequate and safe accommodation for the child or children. The court will not always grant custody to the parent who happens to be more affluent. Both parents should be able to provide comfortable living conditions, cleanliness and the ability to provide for the healthcare of the child. Regarding religion, it is important to be reminded of the fact the court will always act in the best interests of the child or children. Providing the religion of the parent does not cause harm to the child or children – the religion of the parents are not grounds for parental duties disqualification.  Put another way, Mom goes to her church on her days, and Father does or does not attend his venue with the children on his days.

Other Important Considerations

• In Arizona, family law courts have the ability to grant both joint and sole custody. It is more common for sole custody to be granted when the parties cannot reach a mutual agreement
• If you use unsubstantiated or false allegations of neglect or abuse against the other parent – it will be used against you by the courts in the process of decision-making; be very careful what you allege in your papers, they are tendered under penalty of perjury
• The more mature or older the children or child will be increasingly considered (e.g interviewed)  in the legal process
• Remember the parent who is more open to negotiation and communication with the other parent is often more likely to obtain primary custody or the majority of the children or child’s guardianship

When both parents submit a written plan for parenting and are open to communication and negotiation, the court will grant joint custody on the occasions it is in the best interests of the child or children. Families settle on a successful custody situation in more than 95% of the cases outside the court system in an amicable manner. However, if you are unable to make a mutually successful achievement on a child custody agreement, talk to a family law attorney to investigate your options in achieving resolution via litigation.

Sources:

Hg.org, www.hg.org/legal-articles/how-is-child-custody-determined-in-arizona-29809.

To win child custody essentially means that you are happy with your custody circumstances and the custody agreement is in the best interest of the child or children. How this happens depends on the situation. It could possibly mean that you get sole custody of your child, that you share custody with the other parent, or that the judge agrees to your proposed parenting plan, etc.

In the end, how do you win custody? You work on your own or with the other parent to create a custody agreement that meets the needs of your child. After that, you work with the other parent or on your own to get the court to agree to your plan.

To create a winning parenting plan to present in court, call Canterbury Law Group today.

Create a winning parenting plan

Your parenting plan demonstrates how you and the other parent will continue to care for your child now that you are separated or getting a divorce.

A satisfactory parenting plan has:

• A defined parenting schedule that shows when the child spends time with each parent
• Details about how the parents will make decisions for the child
• Specifics about expenses and finances
• Parenting requirements and rules about raising the child
• Any other information you may want to add

To produce a winning parenting plan, you must customize it, so it suits the needs of your child and fits your unique circumstances.

You can draw out your plan on your own, work closely with the other parent to develop it, and/or hire an attorney or legal professional to assist you.

Negotiate a plan with your child’s other parent

The best way to win custody of your child is to work with your child’s other parent to make a custody agreement both of you approve of. This helps you avoid a drawn-out, costly court battle and makes your agreement more effective, and is only beneficial for the child.

It doesn’t matter if you and the other parent disagree about custody, it is still worthwhile to try and arrange an agreement. In order to do this, you will both have to set aside personal differences and focus on what is in the best interest of the child.

Here are some recommendations to help you when meeting with the other parent:

• Prepare example parenting plans and parenting time schedules to show your ideas
• Write down the thoughts and concerns that you want to go over before you meet
• Be flexible about your parenting agreements
• Hear out the other parent’s ideas and concerns
• Set aside any personal differences with the other parent
• Think of your child when you work out your parenting agreement
• Don’t talk about divorce issues or other outside issues during the meeting
• Bring your work schedule and the child’s school schedule
• Talk to your child about what they want in the agreement (if your child is old enough)
• Seek mediation or counseling if needed
• Get enough sleep the night before you meet, maybe each bring a friend to reduce tension
• Allow multiple meetings (don’t try to discuss too much at once)
• Take a break if things get strained, you can always try again later

Record your actual custody circumstances

You may find it beneficial to track the actual time, so you know how to prepare your custody plan.

Track your actual parenting time, so you know how your actual time correlates to your scheduled time. This can help you define your custody and visitation schedule and know if the schedule is being upheld.  For example, if one parent works nights and weekends, creative scheduling is going to be required to see the children during normal waking hours, when they are typically in school.

You can also keep a custody log book where you write notes about what happens during your parenting time. You can use your book to communicate with the other parent or keep it for your records.

Tracking your parenting time and keeping a log book helps you win custody by making sure your plan is the correct one for you and your child. It also helps each parent follow the plan.  The log book can also be critical for “going back to court” after your original plan is in place.

Present a winning case in court

If you and your child’s other parent are incapable of coming to an agreement about custody arrangements, you will go to family court, and a judge will determine the final parenting time arrangements.

To win in family court, you must develop a parenting plan and show the judge how that plan will benefit your child. It might be a good idea to hire an attorney to come up with your plan and represent you in court.  Things can and will get complicated.

You can represent yourself and still win custody, you will just need to prepare an appropriate plan and present it very well.

Attend custody mediation to win your case

If both parents cannot work out a custody agreement, you should consider going to custody mediation with a third party professional.

In custody mediation, you and the other parent will meet with an impartial third-party mediator who can help you create your agreement. The mediator will help you as you make decisions for your plan and help you work out your disagreements.  The mediator is usually a retired family law judge or attorney well versed in custody issues.

Some states require that parents go to mediation first before actually going to court. You may also have the alternative of getting free or discounted mediation through your court or state. If mediation isn’t offered in your court, you can pay for mediation privately.  Each parent usually pay 50% of the meditor’s fees.  You can also bring your attorney to mediation.

Mediation is successful for a lot people, and if you can co-author your parenting plan in mediation, you will be happy with your plan and you both win your case.