Category Archives: Parental Alienation

When a child or children are in the mix during a break-up or a divorce, the communications of one parent as well as their actions may purposefully undermine the relationship the child or children has with the other parent to the extent parental relationships can be permanently damaged. As a result, courts are rapid in their actions to address such behaviors and acts when they are exposed. Parents need to understand these issues and should avoid all negative behaviors. Therefore, it is important to learn the indications in the behavior of a child or children when they have been placed in a position they are being alienated towards the other parent.

Read on to learn more about the aspects of parental alienation.

What Is Parental Alienation?

Both judges are evaluators of child custody will seek the parent whose actions are positive and promote the relationships between the child or children and both parents. it is vital a parent never appears to be in a mode or retaliation or be vindictive or use financial issues as a weapon in matters of child custody. Therefore, parental alienation happens when a parent is guilty of causing a child or children to be negatively influenced towards the other parent of the child or children. On occasions this behavior can be unintentional but if often intentional and it is worth remembering parental alienation is not only a weapon used by one gender. Parental alienation is not gender specific any either parent is equally able to indulge in this destructive pattern of behavior should they wish to do so.

Parental Alienation Examples

There are many ways a child or children can be manipulated when one parent carries out acts of parental alienation. The goal is normally to separate the emotional bond a parent has with the child or children. The parent can do this by making negative comments about the parent directly to the child or children or to third parties but by ensuring the child or children can hear what is being said. These comments can have a great influence on a child or children who if they hear negative comments on a regular basis, become more credible and believable to the young minds who hear it. In the end, the result is often the child or children sees the other parent in the manner the way the accusatory parent has presented the situation to them.

Additionally, other members of the family may also join the accusatory parent in making alienating comments and actions towards the other parent in front of the child or children. These do not have to be outrageous statements, but just small comments and actions can help to cement negative thoughts towards the other parent. Nonetheless, with alienating, it is more often than not that not just one act or statement is negative, but usually the result of many small comments made over a prolonged period of time.

Signs of Parental Alienation

As we have discussed it is seldom one single action represents parental alienation but a series of actions and words and thoughts that manipulate a child or children negatively impact a parents’ relationship with their child or children. Undoubtedly some tactics used in parental alienation are extremely harmful but never more so than when a parent accuses the other of criminal activity. Especially when they do this in front of a child or children. This is a matter that needs to be acted on immediately. Here are some signs to look for that your child or children may be the victim of parental alienation:

• Is a parent creating scenarios where the child or children misses when it is your time for visitation?
• Has the attitude of your child or children changed from one of being pleased to see you to one of being angry towards you?
• Does your child or children no longer use a familiar, informal name for you?
• Does your child or children show signs of being uncomfortable around you?
• Does your child or children only give very brief, monosyllabic answers?
• Does the other parent turn up unexpectedly, creating drama and tension when there is no need to do so?
• Does the other parent severely question the child or children following your visitation?
• Does the other parent show resentment when you discuss enjoyable times with your child or children?
• Does the child know matters regarding the divorce beyond what they need to know at their age?
• Does it appear your parenting time is being cut short, altered or canceled at short notice?

Parental Alienation Laws in Arizona & Effect on Child Custody (Legal Decision Making)

Title 25’s legal decision-making laws were last modified a couple of years ago when the Arizona state legislature decided it will be the responsibility of the court to engage both parents in the raising of a child or children. In light of this, clearly parental alienation is recognized as being a cause of damage to a child or children. When one parent has an established history of using parental alienation, it is less than likely they will be able to come to an agreement regarding parenting time or putting the best interests of the child or children first. In some cases, not even the use of lawyers or mediators assist in getting to this goal.

In such circumstances, a judge will consider what is in the best interest of the child or children. To make that determination, the judge will review  Arizona Code section 25-403.

The court is going to examine what parent is more likely to allow frequent, meaningful and continued custody with the other parent. So parental alienation can definitely count against a parent in these circumstances. The court may decide the child or children should be spend additional time with the other parent who is not involved in the practice of alienation tactics. In some circumstances, this alienation crosses a line into custodial interference where one parent violates current custody orders. In Arizona, this is considered a felony offense with possible jail time.

Source: “Parental Alienation.” Stewart Law Group, https://www.arizonalawgroup.com/child-custody/parental-alienation/

Parental Alienation Syndrome is the purposeful act of one parent with the purpose of distancing their child or children from the other parent. The aim is to dismantle the bond that unites the child or children with the other (usually noncustodial) parent. There can be many reasons for a parent to do this. Sometimes, it is done as a form of punishment as the instigating parent sees it as a way of delivering justice for some alleged act of wrongdoing. Sometimes the acts can be the result of a mental health-oriented personality disorder that comes to the fore in a stressful situation, preventing them from acting and reacting rationally.

Read on to learn more how parental alienation is something that may develop over a period of time and how the early signs of parental alienation syndrome can be identified.

Encouraging Acts of Anger Towards the Other Parent

A parent will be critical or talk in a dismissive manner regarding the other parent to the child or children. These may be blatant negative statement or more subtle jibes designed to erode the confidence the child or children has in the other parent. They may claim a new item of clothing or something that is needed for school cannot be purchased and the child or children are told this is because the other parent has decided to spend the money on someone else or something else. The whole purpose is to develop insecure feelings in the child or children towards the parent.

Subtle Attempts Promoting Anger

This often happens when one parent purposefully speaks poorly of the other parent to the child or children. Although they may not address the child or children directly, they will ensure the child or children is within earshot when making derogatory comments to other people about the parent. A more direct example would be to attribute to the child or children that the other parent did not care enough about the child or children or the marriage relationship. Essentially, the parent causes and then exploits the emotional turmoil the child or children experience.

The Sharing of Details

When a parent indulges in parental alienation, they often tell the child or children of the divorce process and report to the child or children the ongoing conflict between the parents, attributing the cause and the blame of the conflict to the other parent. This may include the discussion of financial problems, or blaming the other parent for legal issues, often with the emphasis of presenting how the scenario would be easier if the other parent was not so mean in their actions. This can cause the child or children to feel angry at the other parent and a feeling of responsibility of guilt.

Sending Negative Messages

A parent can utilize body language to show their displeasure regarding the other parent to the child or children. The child or children may witness the parent rolling their eyes, shaking their head, throwing their arms around and other physical actions when describing what the other parent supposedly said or did. Often this non-verbal communication has a large impact on the child or children.

Refusing to Co-Parent Properly

When one parent refuses to co-parent in the agreed way with the other parent and then blames that parent to the child or children it can cause a great deal of damage. Children may be told this is because the other parent is always angry or does not want to associate with the child or children.

Making False Accusations

Sometimes a parent may make unfounded accusations ranging from emotional, physical and even sexual abuse from the other parent towards the child or the children. This obviously is a very serious set of allegations to make and can have very dire consequences, both emotional and legal. When the child or children is too young to talk, a medical examination must take place as well as a psychiatric evaluation whenever there is an accusation or suspicion of abuse. The damage that can be done between a parent and a child or children can be permanent even if the allegations are totally untrue. Often the child or children are left with unresolved conflicts and nowhere else to turn. The child or children also have the issue they have little to no input into the conflict they are being involved in. it can be a horrendous price for the child or children to pay when one parent is lying regarding the other parent in such a serious manner.

Refusal to Communicate

If one parent cannot or will not communicate effectively to transfer information regarding the life and wellbeing of the child or children, it is at least a possibility this is an attempt for the parent to isolate the child or children from the other parent.

Source: Group, DiPietro Law. “7 Signs Your Ex Is Engaging in Parental Alienation.” DiPietro Law Group, PLLC, 10 Feb. 2016, https://www.dipietropllc.com/blog/2016/february/7-signs-your-ex-is-engaging-in-parental-alienati/