How To Divorce a Narcissist
A narcissist is someone with certain characteristics defining their personality. These may include a desire to be admired, the need to be seen as a good person, a need to be right and to be critical. Further, they often are charismatic but lack remorse and appear bereft of conscience. They are often controlling individuals and their values depend on the scenario they are currently in. They can be masters of emotional manipulation yet be emotionally vacuous. They refuse to take responsibility but hold grudges and have an elevated sense of importance. They often claim to be misunderstood because of their past, begrudge people their success and are disinterested in solving relationship issues.
Read on to learn more.
When one partner in a divorce is a narcissist and the other person a reasonably levelheaded individual it can be the source of great conflict. Add children into the mix and the behaviors of the narcissist can cause the breakdown of communication as the other partner launches into defense mode. To outsiders, this may appear the “reasonable” spouse is creating much of the conflict, but many do not know what it is like to live with someone with this particular personality disorder. The narcissist often has such a need to win they will stop at nothing in destroying the other person to achieve that purpose. Sometimes, the only way to make headway is to confront it head-on.
Look further at some of the traits of a narcissist when you divorce them:
- They will attempt to retain control and influence your life
- They may dictate how child support is spent
- They may dictate terms of child visitation and every other aspect of coparenting
- They may look to wreak financial, domestic, and financial abuse on you, especially if they sense you are weak, fearful, or sympathetic in any way, promoting their poor behavior
Divorce Coping Tactics
An attorney can help if they are willing to go to bat for you and support you in protecting your legal rights.
Narcissists project their own shame, guilt and fears on to you, no matter how successful you may be. This causes confusion and hostility and plays into their hands. The only aspect you can change is your response to them. To that end, your communications with them need to be careful. Be aware of their tactics and do not give them the answer they seek. Ultimately, the yare trying to make themselves feel better by casting you as the bad person.
The reality is fantasy is the world the narcissist chooses to live in. You must see them for who they are, not who they wish to be portrayed as. Every time you act in a kind way, it will be exploited. A tool a narcissist uses us to make you doubt your value. But be assured you do have self-worth and strength they do not recognize.
A narcissist is no respecter of boundaries and thinks their needs are paramount. But you can hold firm by controlling the behaviors you will allow and not permit. It is not the answer to the problem because the more you confront them, the more it plays into your hands. Communication has to be free from conflict, disrespect, and manipulation, Insist all communication is done via email.
This may not be popular, but it is worth keeping this condition in order to separate yourself from this toxic person.
Through the divorce process, friends and family may not be able to fully empathize even if they have gone through the divorce process because of the personality of your former partner. Therefore, it is critical you retain the services of a divorce attorney who comprehends the multifaceted aspects of a narcissistic personality disorder during the divorce process. A therapist may also be of great help in setting boundaries and assisting with coping mechanisms to maintain them. In the end, the more people you have on your side – the easier you will find this painful process.
Need a Family Lawyer in Scottsdale?
Our experienced family law attorneys will work with you to obtain the best possible outcome in your case. Proven trial lawyers in family court, you can trust the firm to represent you fully so you can get on with your life. Call today for your initial consultation. Our family lawyers can help with divorce litigation, collaborative divorce, divorce mediation, child custody, legal guardianship, paternity, prenuptial agreements, and more.
*This information is not intended to be used as legal advice. Please contact Canterbury Law Group today to learn more about your personal legal needs. 480-744-7711 or [email protected]