10 Reasons For Divorce

When the relationship between your spouse and you have broken down, there may be a day when you find they have left home and a divorce notice awaits you as you walk through the door. Read on to learn more about the top ten leading reasons for a divorce.

1. Lack Of Fidelity

Lack of fidelity is the leading cause of most marriage breakdowns ending in divorce. There are many reasons why people may cheat on a spouse such as:

• Differences in sexual appetites
• Missing or lacking emotional intimacy
• Resentment
• Anger

Often a simple friendship is the grass root of infidelity. In some circumstances an emotional affair can lead to the affair becoming physical.  Once things get physical, it’s usually game over by then.  It’s not if you’ll be caught, it’s when.

2. Finances

When a couple have different attitudes to money as well as differing financial goals, spending habits and when one spouse makes inordinately more income than the other – the strain of a marriage can be immense and is recognized as the leading reason for divorce after infidelity

3. Communication Skills

If two partners cannot talk in an effective manner, it is a sure recipe for problems. Lack of communication, shouting and vindictive responses and comments all make an impact on a relationship and need to be abandoned if a marriage is to be saved. When it cannot be saved, it becomes a leading cause for divorce. Constructive communication is difficult to commit to, but in some instances, it can saved and change a marriage for the better.

4. Ongoing Arguments

Couples who go over the same ground in arguments over and over often do so because they feel they are not being listened too. The perception that the other person refuses to see the other persons viewpoint can lead to further arguments – and this again leads to divorce.

5. Gains In Weight

If a spouse has gained a great deal of weight, they may become less physically attractive to their spouse. Although it sounds shallow, the gain of weight also impacts self-image and this may lead into less intimacy than before, causing further problems leading to divorce.

6. Expectations

Often people have very high expectations when they marry – often trying to live up to unrealistic dreams. This can cause a large amount of strain to the other partner in the relationship. It is a recipe for failure. And this inability to match expectations with reality is also a cause for the divorce.

7. Intimacy Issues

When emotional or physical intimacy is lacking, it doesn’t always equal a lack of sex but if there is a feeling of one spouse freezing out the other from aspects of their personal life, it can be very difficult to prolong a marriage. That said, sexual relationships are important and not recognizing the sexual desires of your partner often causes great stress in a marriage, ultimately leading to divorce. Intimacy is the responsibility of both parties in a relationship and when worked on can become a great way for a relationship to grow closer.

8. Equality Issues

When one partner feels a lack of equality in a relationship it becomes one of the most popular reasons for divorce, almost alongside a lack of a physical or emotional intimacy. Resentment can build when there is a feeling that one partner in the relationship is contributing more to the marriage relationship than the other. Nearly fifty percent of divorces happen in the opening ten years from their marriage date, but even more so before the fourth and eighth year of marriages, perhaps a manifestation of the stereotyped “seven-year itch.”

9. Not Ready To be Married

When couples look back following the end of their marriage it is quite common to find out both couples (regardless of age) were not ready to undertake marriage, especially with couples in their twenties.

10. Abusive Situations

Regrettably, abuse be it of an emotional or physical nature is part of life. The abuser may or may not always be bad and there are often issues to blame such as emotional issues that can run very deeply. But no-one should have to put up with any form of abuse and removing yourself, if you have been abused should be paramount.

Source: Warren, Shellie, et al. “10 Most Common Reasons for Divorce.” Best Marriage Advice – Get Marriage Tips from Experts, 13 Dec. 2019, https://www.marriage.com/advice/divorce/10-most-common-reasons-for-divorce/