Cope Through a Divorce Archives - Canterbury Law Group

If the time comes when you’re face to face with divorce papers, it can be a difficult time. You entered into your marriage with the hopes that it would last forever. Whether you’ve only been together for a couple of years or a couple of decades, a divorce can happen at any point in a marriage.

Once you’ve made it through the divorce process, one significant question remains – what do you do now? Depending on what your situation is like, that will help answer that question. However, there are a few general points that can help out anyone who just wrapped up a divorce.

Here are some steps to take to help you move forward after a divorce.

1. Mourn the Loss

Even if the divorce was your idea and no matter how long you were together for, you want to allow yourself some time to mourn the end of the marriage. There was something about that person that you initially enjoyed being around, and that can be difficult to let go. Before anything, allow yourself to have some time and space to gather your thoughts and go through the different feelings you may have.

2. Learn to Be Yourself Again

You may read that and think that you know who you are and you’re okay. Learning to be yourself again is more than that though. It also includes working through your feelings and getting used to being by yourself once again.

Depending on how long you were married for, it may take more time than others to rediscover yourself. Spend some time reminding yourself of what you love to do. Maybe you and your friends used to go out all the time, or you had a hobby you forgot about over the years. No matter what it is, embrace what you’ve forgotten. Create a new here and now and future.

3. Accept You May Be Different

If you found through your rediscovering yourself that you don’t enjoy the same things that you used to before your marriage, which is okay. Part of the process after a divorce is accepting who you are today and that things will be different.

4. Do Something For Yourself

When you’re in a marriage, you live life with someone by your side. Sometimes that can get to be too much and make couples go their separate ways. If there is something you’ve always wanted to do but never did in your marriage, take some time to do it now.

Going through a divorce is stressful. Carrying that stress with you won’t help with anything. So, do something for yourself that makes you happy. Maybe it was a trip somewhere around the world or an exciting adventure your partner never wanted to participate in. Whatever it is, do something that will make you happy.

5. Take Life One Day at a Time

No matter how you feel after your divorce, take things slow for a while. You don’t want to find yourself in a situation in which you realized you’re not ready and you’ve moved too quickly. Take some time to do the things listed above, and wait until you are genuinely prepared to move forward.

6. Don’t Be Afraid To Be Alone

Being alone doesn’t mean you will never see anyone or that you will be isolated. Your just not in a rush to be coupled up. Society accepts singles, sometimes more than couples. This will give you plenty of time to rediscover yourself and work on you!

7. Consider Dating Again

The best way to move forward after a relationship is to start something new. This could be the perfect time to start dating someone new. Move forward without thinking that the new relationship has to be a permanent one. Just have fun!

8. Take On New Roles

Your partner probably handled specific roles in the relationship but now it is up to you to take on all of the responsibility. Don’t look at it like extra work, look at it as a new and exciting venture!

Source

Shaw, Gina. “After Divorce: 8 Tips for Reinventing Yourself.” WebMD, WebMD, www.webmd.com/sex-relationships/features/life-after-divorce#1.

Canterbury Law Group

The Canterbury Law Group is an experienced divorce lawyer in Scottsdale. We can protect and advise you regarding: Divorce and property division, child custody, child support, child visitation, marital home and real estate matters, allocation of investments, retirement savings, and pensions, personal possessions, valuables, vehicles, closely help businesses, alimony and spousal maintenance, and debt division. To find out how our divorce attorneys can help your matter, schedule your initial case evaluation today.

A divorce is not something you plan for when getting married. Unfortunately, many families face divorce at some point. Going through a divorce can be highly stressful for both parties involved, children especially.

Every divorce will affect kids in some way, whether it be through sadness, anger, frustration, or even worrying. However, as their parents, you can help your children cope with the divorce process so that they use this as a growing experience.

Talking with your divorce lawyer in Scottsdale will help to give you the best advice for your situation. There are also the following top six tips that you can use to help your children cope with a divorce.

Inform the Kids of the Divorce

It’s not an easy conversation to have, but it is essential to talk to your children about the divorce. They’ll need to know that mom and dad will be living apart. Explain why you made this decision and that it was never caused by them. Keep the conversation appropriate for the age, temperament, and maturity of the child. Stay positive, stay optimistic—do not drench the children in negativity. To the contrary, tell them they have a new optimistic life ahead.

Let Them Speak

It’s important that kids can express how they feel in these types of situations. This will mean the parents, both if possible, sit down and listen to them and acknowledge their feelings. If they are struggling, help them put how they feel into words. Provide the children with counseling if needed. They must repair their internal feelings immediately to avoid long-term emotional scarring.

Be Their Support System

Although you’ll have so many things going on in your life with a divorce, it’s crucial that you remain a strong support system for your children. Be there for them, talk to them, ask what will help them feel better. Do NOT complain about the divorce, or your spouse, or the lawyers or the court—these kids have enough to deal with if you must vent, do so with capable adults, not your own children.

Keep Your Emotions in Check

If your children see you upset or stressed out, it will start to seriously affect them. As their primary emotional support system, trying to be as calm and collected as possible will be more beneficial in helping your children cope with the divorce. Approaching the situation angry and frustrated will only get them agitated. Vent your deeper feelings on your own time, in your own space, and not within the sight line of your kids.

Be Kind to Each Other

Kids hear, see, and remember almost everything. You would be shocked to walk in their shoes for 24 hours. If they see you and your partner actively arguing, or if you’re speaking poorly about your life partner when they’re not around, there’s a good chance that they’ll pick up on these things. Being kind and civil to each other will help prevent putting your kids in a difficult situation, or feeling like they need to choose sides. Take the high road. Stay silent when the kids are in the room and handle your “adult business” only with adults in the room.

Reassure They Are Loved

In the end, it’s important to reassure your kids that they are always loved by both parents no matter the divorce outcome. Explain the new living arrangements and express that while you’re with one parent, the other parent still loves them. Money and property rights come and go, your children are the bedrock of your life today and into the future.

How to Move Forward After a Divorce