Most people who are thinking about getting a divorce are aware of what to expect. They have seen divorces in the movies and frequently have at least a few personal acquaintances who have gone through divorce. Even with this “second-hand” knowledge, going through your own divorce is one of the scariest things you can do in life.
You may be facing the end of one of your most important relationships ever, and on top of that, you have to start planning for unpleasant things like the division of assets and finding new housing. In many situations, there is also the sad possibility of losing daily contact with your children.
Divorce and predictability don’t mix. But if you go into your divorce with reasonable expectations, you’ll have the best chance of being happy with the outcome. As a result, it’s a good idea to be aware of what a divorce can and cannot achieve for you. What therefore is there to gain from divorce?
Real Estate Division
The marital property will be divided by the divorce court in the most reasonable manner. Most states will not include any property acquired before the marriage, by gift, or through inheritance in this divide.
This entails a 50/50 split of the property obtained by the partners during the marriage in some states (community property states). Other states (those without a community property system) will try to divide the property fairly by looking into the couple’s individual financial situations, the length of the marriage, the standard of living during that time, and other pertinent factors.
It is advisable to discuss the split of property with your soon-to-be ex-spouse because it is never predictable. Having legal representation will aid in the negotiation and settlement processes as well. For instance, you might decide that, while genuinely wanting to stay in the family home, you must continue running your business. As a result, you might decide to prioritize the business over the home. You can try to reach a mutually agreeable property division arrangement with your spouse in this way.
The outcome of a divorce case can influence a couple’s support obligations. This may take the shape of spousal support and child support (also called “alimony”).
Although there may be some case-by-case variations, state law currently mainly determines how much child support must be paid. Slowly but surely, several states are working to enact laws that restrict deviance from the norm. Ordered custody arrangements may affect child support orders. In general, spousal support is heavily influenced by the specifics of each divorce and the financial situation of the separating couple. Therefore, it is once again challenging to anticipate a court’s final support decision.
Visitation and Custody of Children
When there are children between the parties, divorce can also help determine child custody, timesharing arrangements, and parenting schedules in addition to the division of assets. This is also everything but expected. The “best interests” of the child are supposedly promoted by a collection of considerations that courts frequently attempt to consider when making decisions, however these factors might differ from case to case and court to court.
Furthermore, during tense custody disputes, courts typically hear and see only the worst in people. In light of their constrained “view” of the parents’ lives, a divorce court might not necessarily decide on custody in the “optimal” way. Again, in this situation, bargaining and settlement are key choices to consider. A cooperative child custody arrangement will be advantageous to all parties engaged in the divorce, especially the kids.
Ensure Accurate and Equal Division
An exact or mathematically equal distribution of property and parenting time cannot be achieved through divorce. Since no two individuals, marriages, or divorces are alike. The judge who issues a divorce decree must choose wisely given the time and information at hand. You may need to make some concessions on some of your desires, and the choice may not always be the most just one that could have been made.
Divorce courts frequently need to make the most of bad situations. For instance, when one parent resides in Cheyenne, Wyoming, and the other in Kalamazoo, Michigan, a satisfactory custody agreement is impossible.
Maintain Good Relations
Even while a court can determine the terms of child custody and visitation, the judge will not always be present when it is time for one parent to pick up the children or send them to spend the weekend with the other parent. The court will not be present to watch that they don’t insult the other parent in front of the kids. A court order is ultimately simply a piece of paper. To carry out the provisions of the custody and visitation order, the parents must continue communicate with each other civilly.
Your obligation to your children does not end with your divorce. In the best interests of the kids, this duty also entails courteous communication with the other parent. When there is significant conflict between the parents, most courts will take whatever action they can, such as limiting in-person interactions wherever possible. Examples of this include arranging for parents to pick up or drop off children at school or church so that they won’t have to interact with one another, or if a facility is available to handle exchanges when domestic violence is present.
Keep Your Current Standard of Living
You should also be aware that a divorce court cannot raise your pay in order to stop a decline in your standard of living after a divorce. Unfortunately, maintaining two separate residences is simply more expensive than living together and splitting costs with another person. Your level of life will alter after a divorce, and the court can do very little, if anything, to prevent this.
Fix Emotional Problems
Finally, a court will not be able to hold your ex-spouse accountable or ethically defend you for all the wrongdoings that took place during your marriage. Additionally, the divorce procedure won’t make your emotional wounds better or even eliminate the need for you to grieve the broken relationship. Although you can get help from therapists and support groups, that is your responsibility.