Category Archives: Divorce Attorney

Spousal maintenance, alimony and spousal support are interchangeable terms describing money that a spouse has been ordered to pay to the other party following a divorce. Read on to learn more.

Spousal Maintenance, Alimony and Spousal Support

Alimony are the monies paid by one party to the other during or after the process of divorce. Once it was known only as alimony. Awarded following a court order, its purpose is to maintain living standards the parties became accustomed to during marriage – it is now more often than not referred to as spousal support or spousal maintenance.

Alimony (Temporary)

This is alimony for a specific time. For example, if the divorce causes a party suffering from financial hardship, temporary alimony may be awarded until the party suffering the economic hardship can recover from a financial standpoint. Temporary alimony differs on its length depending on the state or jurisdiction you reside in.

Alimony (Permanent)

This is alimony to be paid until the one making the payments passes away or the party receiving the payments decides to remarry. In some cases, remarriage does not prevent alimony from being paid. For example, if the recipient is unable to work because of disability, the courts may decide the alimony is to be ongoing even if they live with or get married to a third party. However, alimony is non-taxable to the recipient party.

Alimony (Rehabilatative)

This may be awarded when a spouse needs help with college expenses or job training so they may return to a career (or indeed, initiate a career) following the divorce process. Thus, allowing a formerly dependent spouse to obtain the skills needed to assist them in financial independence.  These maintenance awards can range from 1 to 5 years typically.

Other Considerations

Every state has its own laws regarding spousal maintenance (or however the state refers to it as) but it is worth keeping in mind that individual judges (not a jury) have the right to use their discretion in a judicial manner when they determine such issues. Often, they consider the following:

• Will earning power of a party be adversely impacted because they have a child or children to raise.
• The contribution in the role of a homemaker the party may have made in the career of the other spouse.
• The physical, emotional and mental well-being and age of each party.
• The earning potential of both parties.
• The duration of the marriage.  Marriages under 7 years usually do not even qualify for alimony and marriages of 30 years or more can sometimes generate a lifetime alimony award.

Add in those factors and others they judge may consider all factor in to how much will have to be paid. It is always a smart idea to address spousal maintenance issues during the settlement for the divorce. This offers the judge less power and leaves control in the hands of the two parties concerned insofar it was privately  arranged.

In Arizona

In Arizona, when a party is seeking maintenance from the other one of four things must be proven for them to be awarded financial maintenance.

• The length of marriage was such the party is too great an age to be expected to become self-funding or to be able to work.
• As the custodian of a child or children at a young age, the party should not be expected to work, and the spouse contributed to the education of the other party.
• Appropriate employment to become self-sufficient is not available to the party.
• The party does not have sufficient property to meet their needs.

Source: Meyer, Cathy. “The Different Types of Alimony, Spousal Support, and Spousal Maintenance.” LiveAbout, LiveAbout, 11 Mar. 2018, www.liveabout.com/the-different-types-of-alimony-spousal-support-and-spousal-maintenance-1102807.

Divorce documents can be confusing but every document you will read is important. For example, a court issues a “divorce decree” but your “divorce certificate” is issued elsewhere. Read on to learn more.

Divorce Decrees

A document originating from the court and is the final judgment in your divorce is known as a divorce decree. Information contained includes things like child support, spousal support, property division, visitation, custody and other relevant information to your particular situation. They are normally very comprehensive documents containing all the pertinent and agreed-upon information for your situation including the laying-out of any financial obligations the parties will have. A divorce decree may only be issued by a court – it must be obeyed by both parties and represents the judge’s legal decision.

If you elected to settle your case, the settlement will contain all the terms and conditions. It still represents the final judgement and is indicative of the fact the parties did not use the input of a court. This takes matters away from the judge. In cases, where the settlement is very one-sided, a judge may become involved to work on the settlement terms.

Getting A Divorce Decree Copy

Obtaining a certified copy of the divorce decree can normally be obtained the court clerks office. However, some locations place them in the office of the county clerk. In normal circumstances the divorce decree can only be obtained by their parties involved or their legal representation.  Once the divorce decree has been obtained, you will need to ensure both parties are obeying the terms of the decree. You will also want to make sure everyone is meeting their financial obligations. Once you have the divorce decree here is what you need to do:

• Ensure the accuracy of the decree
• If you have questions, speak to your attorney
• Appeal immediately if following a trial, you are not satisfied with the decision of the judge
• Change the terms of your will
• Update your insurance policies with beneficiaries
• Ensure the school of your child or children has updated information for who to contact in the event of an emergency
• If you have a power of attorney, ensure it is changed
• Ensure all financial accounts are only in your name
• Change or cancel debit and credit cards
• If the other party is violating the terms of the decree, bring them back to court
• If child support or spousal support needs to be updated, bring the case back to the court.

Divorce Certificates

This is not the same as a divorce decree. It is a certificate issued by the bureau of vital statistics or the health department of the state you live in. This document states:

• The fact you are divorced
• The names of both parties
• The date and place of the divorce

A divorce certificate may be used for obtaining a change of name, evidence of a divorce, obtaining a visa for travel, obtaining a passport, to show you are no longer marries for the purpose of inheritance, to get married and any situation when you need to show evidence of your divorce.

Source: “Divorce Decree vs. Divorce Certificate – What’s the Difference?” Legalzoom.com, 26 Sept. 2019, www.legalzoom.com/articles/divorce-decree-vs-divorce-certificate-whats-the-difference.

A divorce decree is the final document in the marriage termination process. It states the judgments and finals rulings of the court and is an official judge signed document. Although every decree is different, the decree has the role of detailing the duties and rights of the parties involved in the divorce case.

Obviously, the importance of divorce decrees cannot be understated because until the decree is issued the process of divorce has not been completed. In circumstances when they are not completed there may be issues with the post-decree possession of property, taxes, debt as well as other legal rights that need to be addressed.

Divorce Decree Contents

Divorce decrees often include:

• Property division agreements
• Alimony or spousal support obligations
• Child visitation, support and custody details
• The financial commitments for both parties

They typically also include the date the decree is effective as well as naming both parties as well as the case number for future reference.

Appeals And Modifications

In the normal course of events, divorce decrees are legally binding for both parties upon issuance. There are, however, some circumstances where a modification motion or an outright appeal may be applicable:

• A modification may be available for certain issues such as custody rights, visitation or financial support obligations. In the majority of cases, property divisions cannot be modified further.
• An appeal will often be very limited in scope, concentrating on errors that may have been made in the lower court’s legal rulings.  Appeals must be requested in very specific terms and the filing deadlines must without fail, be strictly satisfied. Facts of the case cannot be appealed, however issues of law can be appealed.

Divorce Decree Legal Help

Once issued and finalized, a divorce decree cannot easily be changed, emphasizing the importance of considering carefully all the actions you must take during the divorce process. This is why a proven divorce lawyer can capably assist in making sure all the bases are covered before the divorce decree is finalized.

Source: LaMance, Ken. “What Is a Divorce Decree?” LegalMatch Law Library, 7 June 2018, www.legalmatch.com/law-library/article/what-is-a-divorce-decree.html.

Divorce changes many aspects of your life, so careful planning and a levelheaded approach is essential. Read on for some tips to assist in making the best decisions for your future.

Have You Tried Everything?

When you look at your marriage, have you done everything within your power to salvage the relationship? The last thing you want to do is look back in the future and ask yourself if there were issues you should have addressed before proceeding down this road. The whole process, although stressful, will be easier if outstanding issues are addressed before moving forward with your life.

Move Forward With Purpose

Having tried everything and decided to go through the process of divorce, it is time to adopt an efficient and business style approach to the situation. Of course, there will be a whole gamut of emotions you will digest. But if those emotions hijack your ability to think clearly, you may wind up in situations that are not in your best interests over the long haul.  Be ready to be strong, smart and prepared and to accept the inevitable emotions that headed for you both.

Everyone Can Have Bad Days

Individuals learn from experiencing discomfort, even when the discomfort on an emotional level may be very uncomfortable. Trying to overcome or avoid these emotions in a non-beneficial way may end up posing a threat to the conclusions of your divorce as well as custodial and parenting issues as you move forward. Inevitably, a degree of suffering is part of the human experience. Acceptance of that often makes events easier to cope with.  Your spouse may also ratchet down their own emotions if they see you doing the same.

Categorization

Sometimes it is difficult not to constantly think about the pending divorce, but this is not typically productive. Let your divorce attorney handle the details.  A good idea is to categorize your time and set out a schedule to when you will deal with pending case issues. For example, you may decide after a certain time of day you will no longer engage in communication about the divorce. Allocate certain periods of time to focus on other matters such as yourself, your job, your child or children and your friends. Getting into this routine will help you remain fresh and focused when dealing with divorce issues.  Less is more; let the professionals handle your case.

Self-Care

Mind practices like meditation or a spiritual practice, if you ae so inclined may help too. It is important, above all, to live well, eat sensibly and be mindful of your need for sleep. This will help you make more balanced decisions.

Source: Law, Weinberger Divorce & Family. “5 Steps to Emotionally Prepare For Divorce.” Weinberger Divorce & Family Law Group, Weinberger Divorce & Family Law Https://Www.weinbergerlawgroup.com/Wp-Content/Uploads/2017/04/[email protected], 3 Jan. 2017, www.weinbergerlawgroup.com/blog/newjersey-law-divorce-separation/divorce-emotionally-prepare/.

Asking for a divorce may be one of the hardest things you ever have to do, even more so if you intend on doing so in a manner that is both respectful and peaceful. But when the relationship has broken down and can no longer work, despite the efforts of all involved, it may become inevitable. True, there is no right way to go about doing this. But read on to learn how you can make this tough situation a little easier to navigate.

Preparation

Understanding the emotional state of your spouse can be very helpful. Are they blissfully unaware or maybe they feel the same way you do? Has the topic ever been raised before now? It is wise to try and estimate the most likely responses from your spouse. In these situations, a counselor or therapist who deals with couples may be helpful. They can address your emotional state and even offer words and methods to initiate the conversation. Certainly try counseling before you pull the rip cord.

Timing

Spend time thinking of the location as well as the time where this should happen as well as ensuring any children you may have are not present, so the discussion is not disturbed. Also think of their circumstances, for example if they are dealing with job and/or career stresses or are grieving the recent loss of a family member or friend, it may be best to hold off until those issues are more settled. To not do so risks their reaction being based off other external events rather than the issue at hand.

Children

There is no question a child or children may experience trauma when they see conflicting situations with their parents. A great way to get them prepared is to let them know from the outset you both can work to terminate the marriage as peacefully as possible. Showing parenting support and assuring the child or children they will not become pawns in a fight can be of great benefit.

Gentleness

If you become frustrated and angry at your spouse during the divorce discussion it is not very likely to go well. Bringing up the topic in a manner that is thoughtful with a willingness to listen is a big key into smoothing out this process. Often your spouse may not have spent much time considering divorce whereas you have spent a great deal of time before revealing your decision. So, you may have to make an allowance of time for them to comprehend what you have said to them. They may be in state of shock or denial, and may have trouble cognitively understanding what is happening in that precise moment.

Perspectives

It may well be your partner wants prolonged discussions or to investigate ways to salvage the relationship. You do not have to be in accordance with them but do listen to what they say. Being heard is very important in these circumstances.  It sets the right tone for the upcoming divorce which can save you both time, money and heartache.

Understanding

It is important to realize your partner may not want to get a divorce. This may come at them like a bolt from the blue as they have not had to time to consider the options regarding a divorce or put any thought process into the decision at all. Compassionate empathy is the key here. If they ask for a week or two before responding, give it to them.  You two have come this far, another few weeks will not matter in the end.

Responsibility

It is important to use statements containing “I” as opposed to “you”. Take responsibility for how you feel and think, instead of reflecting it on to the other person. There are bound to be many and varied emotions through this whole process but even the suggestion of placing blame is going to be very unproductive at this stage. Most states are no fault jurisdictions anyway.  If you feel you need to force an issue or a subject, it is time to back down and raise the concern at a later time.

Help

It may be a good idea to utilize the services of a counselor if you feel you need to come up with the bets possible way of asking for a divorce.  Each spouse should certainly consult with a seasoned divorce attorney ideally before divorce communications formally begin with their spouse.

Source: QuinlanHeidi, Heidi, and Heidi. “How to Ask for a Divorce Peacefully.” Best Legal Choices, 19 Dec. 2019, bestlegalchoices.com/how-to-ask-for-a-divorce-peacefully/.

We all sometimes think why men decide to leave the woman they once were totally in love with. Truthfully, there can be a multitude of reasons and often there are many reasons. That said, here are some of the most popular reasons and perhaps will give one food for thought on the way to mending a relationship.

Infidelity

Somewhere between a fifth and nearly half of all marriages end in divorce because of infidelity. When a man’s spouse has been having other partners within the bond of marriage, the commitment and trust a man has left to offer can be strenuously pressured. The internet has brought people who are not married to each other emotionally closer and many consider this a form of infidelity and may be the other cause of a man to leave their spouse.

Respect

Men place a high value on feeling respected and loved and are far more likely to be committed to a relationship when they feel those qualities.  Wives frequently provide respect to virtually all of the people in their inner circles, except their husbands.  Husbands notice this.  Husbands crave daily acknowledgment and respect, wives who don’t give it, may find themselves single again.

Intimacy

When the intimacy one partner in a relationship is something they crave for and the other partner is not willing or unable to provide that emotional closeness and romantic contact, the relationship may struggle to survive.  This often drives the spouse yearning for physical intimacy into the arms of another woman.

Appreciation

A man will often go to great lengths for a woman he really loves if he feels he is being appreciated. Letting him know you realize that is a good thing! So many spouses take the other for granted, everyone eventually has their ‘limit’ on being ignored.

Mom, Not Lover

If you are always reminding him of things he needs to do, clean up the mess he leaves, question about where he is going, where he is and where has he been, he can start to see you adopting the role of a Mother towards him.  This kills romance and passion in the bedroom, and launches you onto a one way trip to dissolution.

Success

If your womanly success highlights his sense of inadequacy it may be more likely he will leave. It is a fact many men have issues with dating a woman of high achievement who may have obtained greater success than themselves.

Satisfaction

When one has an attitude of desiring financial things that are out of reach as opposed to displaying an appreciation of what is already there, it may well be that a man takes that personally. It is important to talk about the things you both appreciate from your relationship and to seek out to achieve mutual financial goals and achievements.

Source: ReichSpecializing, Kristine. “8 Reasons Men Leave Women.” Best Legal Choices, 7 Nov. 2019, bestlegalchoices.com/why-men-leave-good-women/.

Once A Cheater, Always A Cheater?

This is not an entirely true statement. That said, when an affair is discovered, statistically speaking, there will be more than one affair. Yet there is little in the way of quality assistance for couples who want their marriages to heal and maintain their truth to their wedding vows. This is especially the case when a partner in marriage has an affair that they know goes against everything else they morally stand for – especially so when their faith teaches marital fidelity.

Yet there is a rising culture in today’s society who think monogamy is not a realistic population. If you think that, it is very likely you will cheat. But many people who do have an affair want to address what they have done wrong and do their utmost to ensure they never once stray and have an affair. When you are married to someone who claims they appreciate the virtues of monogamy but on the inside thinks otherwise or they have the concept that they have an entitlement to affairs, cheating is almost inevitable. Simply put, monogamy has to be something both sides believe in.

Behaviors, Not Words Are The Key

Promises obviously do not work so behaviors need to change hen a couple are determined to stay monogamous relationship following an affair. Above all, the party who had the affair is the one who needs to change their behavior. Let’s look at what works well and does not work well in achieving this goal.

Ideas That Do Not Work

• There is no guarantee from renewing your wedding vows
• No guarantee comes with them saying “I will never do that again”
• Promises are not a guarantee of monogamy in the future
• While meeting the needs of your spouse is important, it is wrong to think the hey to the previous affair is the spouse who was faithful not being a good enough partner.

The last point is of vital importance because it is easy for one party to blame the faithful party and for the faithful party to accept they were not good enough – bluntly speaking, you can be a perfect partner and still have no guarantee of monogamy.

Ideas That Work

• The spouse who cheated must take responsibility for their actions – understand what went wrong and fully comprehend their behaviors and change to make sure they never go down this path again
• The couple must face the reality of the affair and deal with its ramifications. This means the party who had an affair needs to be responsible for what they have done as well as handling the consequences without making excuses. They also need to exercise a degree of patience with the spouse who has been betrayed and assist in their healing process
• Whatever demons the person who had the affair has need to be “exorcised.” They need to take a frank and honest look at themselves and question their own morality, as opposed to assigning the responsibility for the affair on their partner
• The spouse who was faithful need to have their questions answered honestly regarding the affair
• The couple must work to find out the issues at the core of the causes of the affair and have a clear vision for the future to ensure success
• The party who took part in the affair needs to fully disclose what happened and both parties need to understand the actions that impact marriages. It is never too late to change behaviors

Keep Forgiving?

This is a personal question and there is no correct answer. Possibly, you may be aware your spouse continues to be unfaithful, but you decide to stay and maintain the marriage. Only you can decide if that is right or wrong for you. But if that is not acceptable, you are setting yourself up for more emotional upheaval. Often it is not until you take a stance where you give up your marriage that you obtain it as the person having the affair does not realize they have lost you until you take that stance. Threatening does not work. You have to decide for there to be an impact.

Source: Bercht, Anne. “Multiple Affairs – When Your Spouse Has Had Multiple Affairs.” Brian and Anne Bercht, 6 Feb. 2015, beyondaffairs.com/special-circumstances/multiple-affairs/.